


Nightmares are hard to forget

by magalud



Series: Nightmares [3]
Category: due South
Genre: Angst, Benny has a really hard head, Drama, F/M, FBI is nice for a change, Heavy Angst, I Keep Adding Tags, Pining, Pregnancy, Ray gets a bit foul-mouthed, Ray hates tourists, Romance, Terrorism, Torture, Tropes, Violence, extremists, foreigners, mistreating of Canadians, more medical inconsistencies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magalud/pseuds/magalud
Summary: Danger from a distant place lurks the streets of Chicago, as Fraser might have to face some competition for Linda's attentions
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Original Female Character
Series: Nightmares [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMERS: These people belong to Alliance and those other guys, and I just play around with them. Linda is mine, Benny is not. Boy, how I wish it was the other way around... Maybe throw in Ray, too, because he is bald and cute.
> 
> NOTES: This is clearly a fic of the 90’s, years before September 11th

## Chapter 1

Linda Lyme looked at the big clock at the wall of the ER. 11:45. She was so excited she could hardly wait the next 15 minutes. Benny was to meet her for lunch, but that was not the only reason for her excitement. She had news for him. Big news, as a matter of fact.

Six months had passed since Linda had lived the most beautiful New Year's Eve of all her life. Her life had changed in so many ways, and many dreams have come true. After so many months paralyzed, she was walking again, on her own two legs. It had been weeks since she last felt any pain. Now she was running with Dief at least twice a week, and walking him daily. The exercise was good for both of them.

Linda was highly motivated by Dr. Lennyard's indication that she could be released from his care very soon. That Christmas gift was thoroughly explained to her over and over again. Dr. Lennyard gifted her with a protocol that indicated she was to receive full status on citizenship. She would not be a ward of the State anymore. Linda would become a productive and full-fledged member of society, and she set all her energies on making that happen.

First, she had needed a job and Dr. Lennyard had helped her on that. Since she could not get back her old job as a cleaning lady, Linda took a part time job as a receptionist in the emergency ward. It was still in the same hospital, because she was not totally out of Dr. Lennyard's care yet. That meant that he still was her legal guardian, supervisor and psychiatrist. At least for a while longer.

At any rate, Linda knew the new job was not merely a bureaucratic position. Actually, it was a really hectic one. She was to keep her post organized, help receive incoming patients and arrange them in examination rooms to their doctors, according to their cases. She had to be trained for two weeks before assuming the position. Ray teasingly called it "Playing E.R. in Chicago." Linda did not let herself be fooled by her friend's joke. It was great responsibility, and she knew it. She wanted to do the best she could.

Linda also went back to school. She still needed the equivalency degree to get into nurse school, as she dreamed. So, she always had hectic mornings in the hospital, then went to school in the afternoons. At the end of the day, Fraser and Ray would pick her up.

It was not an easy routine. Fraser was beaming about her. On the top of everything, they were deep into marriage plans.

A red serge was easily spotted inside hospital green walls, and Linda smiled, her heart picking up as Fraser smiled back at her, coming to her desk. She greeted him, "Hi, Ben."

"Hello." He kissed her quickly in front of all people. Both blushed, although no one paid attention to those two anymore.

Linda grabbed a stack of X-rays. "Let me get these back to Pediatrics, and then we can go. I'll be right back."

She ran in the busy corridor, and Nancy, the girl who took the next shift, arrived and greeted Fraser. He smiled at the rest of Linda's co-workers. "Good afternoon, everyone."

Nurse Supervisor Sorelli, who had finally returned from her post-graduate course, greeted him. "Hello, Constable. Is it already noon?"

"Yes, it is, Ma'am."

"Good." She leaned in a conspiratorial manner. "You will be glad to know Linda is okay today. She went to the doctor's, and as far as I know, the exams turned out okay." The nurse craned her neck to see if the girl was coming. "Although I still don't understand why she insisted that we keep this from you."

Fraser felt relieved. Linda had not been feeling well lately, but it must have been only a slight indisposition. "I think she is a little bit afraid of returning to a hospital so soon."

"Yes, I guess she did not want to worry you. See, there was nothing to worry about."

"And it was a good thing. Thank you for keeping this a secret."

Mrs. Sorelli smiled. "Don't mention it. Now, we better keep this to ourselves. Oh, here she comes."

Linda returned and greeted Nancy, the girl who'd take the next shift. She handed her the files and updated her about other tasks, so common in changing staff of incoming shifts. Then Linda grabbed her coat, and she and Benton were out of the hospital. "Busy day?", he asked.

"Yes, it was. Not a total chaos, but it was a busy one. How long do you have?"

"We can have an hour, if you like."

"Good, my first class is in two hours. We can go to the mall for lunch. What do you say?"

He nodded, smiling. "Lunch by the mall would be very pleasant."

Linda was very nervous about telling Benny the result of the exams. Well, it was nothing unusual about it, but she was very excited and hoped Benny would be, too. She planned to tell him over lunch.

So they sat at one of the big mall's small tables, which were very disputed at this hour. It was so crowded that only the winter garden, near the small fountain, had free tables. They managed to get a small table to themselves, near the fountain. Benny had a sandwich of salmon on rye, and Linda had her usual chicken salad.

Their conversation began light, with everyday topics that Linda half heard. Benny told her, "Ray said we could go out to dinner Friday night. I mean, if you are up to it."

"Of course, Ben. But there is something I should tell you first." Her heart was beating faster.

"Oh, really?"

"I have been to the doctor's, Ben." She looked at him, still nervous and anxious.

"Yes, you have told me so. I hope everything is fine since you have just – " Then he turned to the side, his attention suddenly going elsewhere from her. "Look."

Linda looked to where Ben was looking. There was a young man in business clothes, getting up from his table after his lunch. His briefcase was at his feet, under the table, but apparently he did not notice it as he left it. Linda said, "Ben, that man forgot his briefcase. We should return it."

The man was moving away quickly though the crowded mall. He seemed to be in a big hurry. Ben said, "I better go warn him."

Linda said, "I'll get his briefcase, before someone finds and takes it to the Mall Administration."

"Good idea." Ben was already running towards the man. "Sir! Sir, please!"

Linda went to the opposite direction to pick up the suitcase under the table. Ben stopped the man a few steps ahead, and approached him, "Sorry to bother you, sir, but it seems you forgot your suitcase under the table."

The man, very young, also seemed very nervous. "I don't know what you are talking about. You must have taken me for someone else. If you excuse me – " he tried to get away from the Mountie.

Benny's instincts kicked in, and he grabbed the man's arm. "Sir, you left your suitcase under the table."

The man was now near panic, and tried to get rid of Benny. "Are you crazy? Let me go, please!"

Linda was coming towards them, and held the suitcase up, "Here, I got it!"

When the man saw her with the suitcase, he became even more frantic under Fraser's grip. "Let me go, man! I gotta get outta here!" Benny saw fear in the man's eyes.

In a second's fraction, Benton Fraser understood why the man was so nervous. He looked back and saw Linda waving at them. Benny blanched. There was a bomb in the suitcase. In the suitcase that Linda had in her hands.

From then on, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

He released the suspect's arm and ran towards Linda, screaming at the top of lungs, "Throw it away! It is a bomb!!! Clear the building!!! There is a bomb!!"

At first, Linda did not understand what Benny was trying to say. It took her a few seconds till the words sunk in, and Benny was still screaming at her. People around them were gradually becoming aware of the commotion, and the word bomb seemed to echo around throughout many different voices. Screams and shouts were rapidly echoing throughout the mall's open court.

During those precious few seconds, Linda instinctively dropped the suitcase, and saw Benny jump, throwing his body at her, red serge flying on the mall as people were screaming and running, some not even aware of what was that all about. Linda and Benny's bodies connected, the momentum knocking her down to the floor in extremely slow motion, her green eyes wide for a moment.

Before she even hit the ground, there was an incredibly loud noise, one that made her ears ache and her senses fail her, a hard surface smacking the top of her head. It seemed a minute until she could get a hold of reality again.

But that minute took longer than a lifetime.

When Linda opened up her eyes again, she was lying on the ground, Benny's unmoving body above hers. He was unconscious, his eyes were closed and a long gash deep in his forehead oozed blood in such great quantity that her pink cotton blouse was rapidly soaking in deep red. Her heart almost stopped.

"Ben?" She tried to call the still figure on the top of her. She couldn’t hear her own voice.

She struggled to sit up on the floor full of scattered debris and carefully cradled his injured head in her lap, moving him as little as she could. Linda screamed, her vision already blurry from the tears in her eyes, "Somebody help! Please help me!"

"I will call an ambulance!" she heard a disembodied, muffled voice say. She could not hear well above the buzz inside her head, nor could she look anywhere besides Ben. She could not focus on anything else. He was bleeding badly.

Her bloodied fingers caressed his dark hair and she whispered, "Hang on, Ben, please... Please hold on... I love you, Ben... Don't leave me, Ben... Oh, God..." She was whimpering. Then she remembered to apply pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. Her hands became even bloodier when she did so.

She thought she heard someone squatting beside her and it must have been a man, who said, "Lady, there is an ambulance on the way, OK? Don't move." Linda did not hear all the words.

She did not take her hands away from Ben's wound, but she looked up at the man and pleaded, "He needs help... Please..."

The man was around 40 years old, balding, with small black eyes that looked at her with warmth and compassion. "Do you know what happened?"

Linda didn't know how she heard that above all the noise inside her ears. Also, a crowd seemed to be forming around them, and a cloud of dust, too. There were things around that Linda was trying hard to see. "There was a man... with a suitcase... Ben was trying to help..." Linda looked at Ben's face, and it was so pale it was almost grey. She was shaking, trying not to cry, even though her face was already all wet. "Is there anyone injured besides Ben?"

"No, only couple of frightened girls out in the front. His name is Ben?"

"Benton Fraser, Mounted Police," she completed, absently. "He works in the Consulate. Of Canada. We are going to get married..." There was a siren in the distance, and Linda continued, "He wouldn't want anyone getting hurt..." She took her hands from the wound. "I think the bleeding has stopped."

The man pointed at her head. "His might, but yours not."

Linda could never answer that stranger, because in that moment, the paramedics opened their way through the crowd. A young one approached them, and asked, "How are you?"

She just pointed, almost in tears, "Help him, please."

The paramedic called his colleague, and together, they carefully moved Benny to a gurney. They latched the neck protector on him and immobilized his head with a metallic band on his bloodied forehead. The other EMT got near Linda.

"How long has he been unconscious?"

Still looking at Ben being tended, she did not hear what the medic said. "What?"

He made Linda look at him and mouthed the words slowly. "Can you hear me?"

She shook her head. "Not much. But I stopped the bleeding on his head."

The young paramedic tried to look at the wound in her own head, but she kept on trying to follow Ben with her eyes. He was being wheeled away, and she tried to get up to follow, her heart racing, "Ben!"

The paramedic held her, "Lady, wait!"

Her legs failed her. The world was rapidly turning black, and fortunately the young paramedic was there to prevent her collapsing for the second time.

*** * ***

She opened up her eyes. The rest of the senses did not follow immediately. It was confusing for a while, with many things passing in front of her eyes, but then she recognized the young paramedic. He smiled. "Hi, welcome back. We are almost at the hospital."

Linda looked around. She was inside an ambulance, and there was no one with her besides the medic. She asked, "Where is Ben?"

"You mean the man who was with you?"

"Yes, where is he?"

"He went in an ambulance ahead of us. It seems his wounds were graver than yours. You are fine, Miss... Miss..."

"I am Linda. Do you know how is he?"

The young paramedic took a chart and began to scribble something Linda could not see. "The doctors are to tell that. Now I need to ask you some questions. Your full name?"

"Linda Lyme."

"Age?"

She winced. "20, I guess."

"Guess?", the man smiled. "You don't know for sure?"

"Nobody knows." Linda shrugged tiredly. "Long story."

He shrugged. "OK. Now can you tell me if something hurt and where?"

"My head, a little. And my ears, too. My stomach is not good, either." She asked, "Can't you tell me anything about Ben? Did you see him?"

"Sorry, I did not." The guy went on scribbling. "Linda, do you know what year we are in?"

She stared at him, suddenly confused and angry. "Yes, I do. What kind of question is this?"

"Hey, hey, calm down. We are just trying to assess if there was any damage to your head. Don't worry." The young man smiled. "Some of these questions are stupid anyway."

Linda felt so guilty. "Oh, I am sorry. It was so rude of me. Forgive me, I am just... so nervous about Ben."

"He is good hands, OK? Now try not to worry. Is he your brother, your boyfriend? Husband?"

"Husband to be." She whispered, tears forming. "I am so scared."

"It is OK. The doctors are doing their best, I know. Look, I figure the police will want to talk to both of you, so you better lie down and save your strength, OK?"

"Police! Oh, my God, Ray!" Linda suddenly shouted, even though she did not mean to. "Please, can you call him? Or see that someone calls? Detective Ray Vecchio, 27th Precinct."

"Friend of yours?"

"Family."

He wrote it down. "Sure, Ray Vecchio. I will make sure somebody contacts him. Now try to stay calm or I will have to medicate you."

Linda endured arriving to the hospital she worked and being examined without any information on Ben, no matter how much she asked. The news came with Dr. Lennyard, who walked inside the examination room with a stern look on his face.

"Linda, your condition seems good, generally speaking. Constable Fraser got most of the impact, as far as we can tell. Your ears may hurt for a few days and you may have some trouble hearing, too. But your head injury may be something serious. Even though you don't have any other symptoms of trauma, there might have been some damage. That is why you are staying overnight. Just for observation."

"Doctor, what about Ben? Nobody seems to know anything."

"They still don't. He received a very heavy impact on his head, and he is still unconscious. He is headed to an induced coma."

Linda heart tightened inside her chest. "Oh, no. This is bad, I know. But how bad is it?"

"It is too early to say anything before he wakes up. Linda, there is a police officer who said he'd like to talk to you, too. Are you up to it?"

"I am not sure. Is Ray here?"

"Outside." The psychiatrist smiled. "He is throwing quite a temper out there."

Linda smiled, too. "Could you send him in, please?"

"No." Dr. Lennyard looked at her seriously.

Linda got alarmed. "Is there something wrong?"

"You tell me, Linda. The paramedics took blood from you, and the exams were quite conclusive. You are pregnant." He seemed upset. "Were you planning on telling me someday?"

"Of course, doctor." Linda was shocked at his reaction. "Why did you think I would do such a thing?"

"Because you haven't told me until now and I had to find it by myself."

"I was not planning on hiding this from you, doctor. I am sorry if I gave that impression. I just wanted to tell the father first. But now..." Linda sighed, trying to contain the tears. "Now I don't know when that is going to be."

Dr. Lennyard relaxed. He touched her shoulder. "Try not to worry, OK? Constable Fraser has plenty of chance of full recovery."

Linda nodded, the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I would like to see Ray now, please."

"I will bring him. Now, I would advise you to rest. We may talk about the baby later."

"Thank you, doctor."

He smiled and left. Linda sighed, wiping her tears and trying to control herself. She did not want to worry Ray. She also did not want to get herself worried to the point it would not do Ben any good.

"Linda?"

She looked at the newly comer by the door, but it was not Ray. There was a balding man there, small black eyes fixed on her, trying to smile awkwardly. His face was familiar, though.

"Yes?"

The man entered her room. "Hi, I am Peter. I hope you remember me."

She was sincere. "I don't recall your name, but I think I know you...."

"At the mall. I was beside you. I could not introduce myself then. Peter Wick. I own a business at the mall." He offered his hand, and she took it. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Peter Wick. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing." He had a nice, open smile, thought Linda. "You seemed upset back then."

"I was worried about Ben."

"Your friend, right? Is he OK?"

"They don't know yet." Linda tried not to cry, but she looked away. "He... went into a coma."

Peter Wick took her hand and said, "I am sorry. But try to stay calm. People in comas may wake up at any minute. I hope he gets well soon."

Linda kept her head down. "Thank you. You are very kind."

A third voice was heard. "A- _ham_."

Linda raised her head and Pete Wick felt the room temperature drop at least five degrees from such a cold stare he got from a slender and well-dressed man with as few hairs as he himself had in his head.

Linda, however, lit up a smile the size of the Chicago Water Tower. "Ray!"

Ray had not taken his eyes off the stranger that was still holding Linda's hand. "Are you okay, Linda?"

Wick let go Linda's hand and immediately tried to befriend the man, offering his hand, "Hello, I am Peter Wick. I was at the mall when everything happened, and I met Linda there."

Linda explained, "Peter was very helpful, Ray. Peter Wick, this is my good friend Ray Vecchio."

Ray took the offered hand and shook it, stressing, " _Detective_ Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD. Peter Wick, right?"

"Yes. I own a business at the mall. The Petewick Papers, after the Dickens' book. Stationery."

Ray nodded, not trying the least to be friendly with the man. "I see. I may need to talk to you in an official way, Wick. Don't skip town."

Peter took the hint. "Of course, detective." He turned to Linda. "I am glad you are OK, miss, and I hope your friend gets well soon."

Linda smiled. "Thanks, Peter Wick. You are very kind."

He probably would have said more, but Ray got near Linda's bed and shot him another patented cold stare. The stationery man dropped a business card with Linda and Ray, then mumbled his farewell and got out of the room. Ray smiled when he did.

Linda did not notice anything. "It was nice of him to stop by, don't you think?"

Ray shrugged. "There are nice people out there besides you and Benny, I guess."

The girl half-heard what he said. "Guess so. Ray, did you see Ben?"

"No, he is still in intensive care. No visitors allowed."

She was getting nervous, rubbing her hands. "I have to see him, Ray. I need to see him."

"Linda, Linda, everything is going to be fine." Ray took her hand and found out it was cold and sweaty. "Try to calm down."

Linda could not hold on anymore. She was shaking and trembling. "Oh, Ray. I am so scared."

Ray held her tenderly, and she cried in silence, a trademark of hers, her head buried in his chest. Ray stroked her back as he did to his nephews and nieces, and tried to soothe her down. "Everything is going to be fine, Linda, you will see. Benny is a strong guy. He will pull through this in no time. Besides, I heard you helped him. You were very brave, and smart."

She sniffled and wiped her tears. "I stopped the blood. He was bleeding so much, Ray..."

"We are gonna get who did this to you and Benny. Will you help me?"

"Of course, Ray."

"OK". He took out a small notebook from his summer jacket. "Tell me everything that happened. And I mean _everything_."

Linda obeyed with the small amount of patience she still had left. She did not think she might help much, because Benny was the one who saw the briefcase owner up close. Ray said no group or organization had taken responsibility for the attack until that moment. The FBI was being brought to the case. They were thinking terrorism. That did not mean a gnat to Linda.

It was one of the worst nights Linda could recall in her entire life. On medical orders, and worried sick, she could not sleep and Ma Vecchio was all over her like a mother hen. She needed to see Ben.


	2. Chapter 2

##  **Chapter 2**

With Ma Vecchio's help, Linda got up from her bed and tried to sneak in the intensive care room in the middle of the night. However, a nurse caught both women in the hallway. Fortunately, the nurse was after them to bring good news: Ben was out of the artificial respirators and was breathing on his own.

At morning, Linda was officially released, and then another struggle began. She wanted to stay by Ben's side. It was against the rules. She begged, pleaded, bargained. Before she needed to threaten someone, the permission was given. So Linda practically moved to the hospital.

Fraser's condition inspired care, said the doctors, because the injury indicated there might have been some trauma to the skull or the brain. After the great blood loss, his vital functions were beginning to stabilize and that was a good sign, they said. All information was given to Ray, because he was listed as his next of kin, but he asked that Linda was granted visitation privileges.

Almost every waking moment of Linda was spent on Fraser's side. He was quickly transferred to semi-intensive care and from there to a room. Three days after the attack, though, he was still unconscious. Linda stopped eating, barely slept and simply skipped her classes. She went to work, however, mainly because it meant not being away from Fraser.

Ray was also there as much as he could, but he was having a fight of his own in the Precinct. It seemed Welsh was under a lot of pressure from the FBI to give them the case, but they were still resisting. Even though not a single cop was involved, the entire Precinct took the case as personal.

It was night, and Linda had not returned home to change the hospital uniform. All she cared was that she was at Ben's side, inside the room to where he had been transferred. Linda had Fraser's hands on hers and was whispering something to his ear as Ray got inside the room. The Italian cop smiled at her, and asked, "How is he?"

"I was singing to him," Linda explained. "He did that to me, and I remembered it later. Maybe he can remember it when he wakes up, too."

"I am sure he will, _ragazza_." Ray held up the paper bag and announced, "I brought us dinner."

"Thanks, Ray, but I am not hungry."

"Linda, you know better than that. Ma made me promise I would make you eat something. I don't want to lie to her, and if she finds out you have not eaten in the last three days, she is gonna come here and make you it, even if it is by a tube."

"I am afraid she will have to wait for her turn. Dr. Lennyard has threatened it before her."

Ray was surprised. "Really? He usually doesn't nag you about that."

"Yes, but I know he is only doing that because of my condition, or else he –" Linda suddenly realized what she had almost said, then she blushed and turned away from Ray, praying that he hadn't notice. "I mean; he knows that I am still recovering myself."

The sharp detective had not missed her hesitation. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Linda began to feel sweat gathering in her back and pulled a little from Fraser, trying to conceal her shaky hands.

"You were trying to say something else, then you changed your mind. Are you trying to hide something from me?"

She grinned nervously. "Ray, really. What gave you such an idea?"

"Now I _know_ you are trying to hide something from me." Ray grabbed a chair and looked at Linda, who was blushing and had her eyes averted. "Come on, you can tell me what it is."

"Ray, please."

"You were saying something about your condition. What condition? Is it a health condition?"

"Ray, I ask you, please..." Linda tried to think of something to say, for Ray was definitely getting too close to the truth for comfort.

He never let her finish, and his green eyes widened. "Oh, God, you are pregnant, aren't you?

Linda blanched and looked at him, trying to think of something to say. But she was not fast enough. Ray gasped and had a hard time keeping his voice down. "You _are!_ Oh, holy Jesus, you are pregnant!"

There was no use in denying. Linda begged, "Shhh! Please, Ray, keep it down. I have not told anyone. Only Dr. Lennyard knows. Oh, and I sort of told Dief, too, but my guess is that he already knew. He is such a smart wolf. Anyway, I was going to tell Ben at lunch that day, but..." She trailed off, tense, unable to meet his eyes, and held her own arms with a shudder. "But I didn't have time..."

"No, Linda, don't think that now. It is a time to be happy." Ray grabbed her and hugged her suddenly. "Congratulations, Linda. Oh, I am so happy. I am sure Benny will be thrilled, too."

Linda stared at the sleeping angelic face by her side. "I can't wait to tell him. But could you keep it a secret until then? I want to be the one who tells him. Please let me do that, Ray."

"Of course." Ray had a foolish grin and hugged her again. "You are going to be a mommy, Linda!"

She was embarrassed. "Yes. It is a bit scary, Ray."

"Nah, don't you worry about it. Ma can give you a hand. Maria, too. They are going to flip, let me tell you, Linda. Hey! Am I going to be an uncle again?" He could not stop grinning. "A little Fraser running around... Or maybe a little Linda. Wow!"

Linda was smiling softly at the figure lying in bed. "I am sure he will be happy about it, too." She took the Canadian's hand again. "I love you, Ben."

At that precise moment, a pair of clear eyes opened up. They seemed unfocused, staring at the ceiling, fluttering a bit. Linda gasped. "Ray! He is coming around!"

Ray went to the other side of the bed, then called, "Benny?"

The figure in bed stirred at the sound of his voice, then the eyes tried to focus. He rasped, "Ray?"

Linda felt joy and relief flooding her heart. "Oh, Ben...!"

Ray smiled at his friend and said, "Let me get you some water, buddy."

He went to the table as Ben slowly turned his head. Linda smiled sweetly at him. "Welcome back, Ben. I will get a nurse now, but I will be right back. Ray will stay with you." She squeezed his hand gently as Ray came with the water. Ben looked at her emotionlessly, still weak.

Linda was at the phone as Ray helped Ben drink a few sips. Ray put the glass away and saw Ben trying to sit up. "Better, buddy?"

"Yes... I..." He faltered in motion, and Ray rushed to his aid.

"Woah, take it easy." Ray helped Benny get more comfortable. "You got a nasty bump in your head, so make it slow, OK?"

Linda put the phone down and returned. "A nurse is coming."

Fraser looked at Linda, stared at the hospital uniform she wore and then turned to Ray. "I am glad you are back, Ray."

"Back, Benny?"

"From your assignment. I missed you very much. I hope you've met the other Ray." He winced, getting his hand to his temples. "Oh. My head still aches a tad."

Linda did not understand what Ben was saying. By the look in his face, neither did Ray.

"Benny, what are you talking about?"

"Your undercover assignment, Ray. If you are back, I guess it is over now. I am glad, because I missed you."

Ray said, "Benny, I have been back from that assignment for more than two years now."

The Mountie looked at him, lost without words. Linda felt a cold grip in her heart, and took Benny's hand gently between hers. "Ben... Are you OK?"

Fraser abruptly took his hand away from her touch, and seemed annoyed enough to ask harshly, "Excuse me, but do I even know you?"

Linda lost all colors in her face and stared at him speechless, her head spinning. Ray was also appalled, but recovered fast enough. "Benny, this is Linda. You don't recognize Linda?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't. I am sorry, no. I... really can't remember much, Ray." Fraser seemed really confused.

A nurse went inside at this moment, and Linda suddenly couldn't breathe. She mumbled, "Excuse me, please, I need air," and then she fled the room lest she passed out.

Ray tried to stop her, "Linda!"

Too late. Linda closed the door behind her, and leaned against the wall, panting, trying to keep her heart from cracking from such unbelievable pain. Uncaring of the strange looks from onlookers, she burst into silent tears, weeping without a sound, as she knew so well.

Suddenly, her stomach could not handle such pain. Linda ran to the public restroom and stormed into the first free stall, retching violently and weeping at the same time. It took a few minutes to calm down her stomach.

There was a knock on the door. "Linda?"

It was Ray. She said, "In here, Ray. I... don't feel good." And she retched once more.

"I will be waiting outside."

Finally, Linda recovered enough to get out of the bathroom. Ray was in front of the door, waiting for her. "How are you?"

"I am better now," Linda lied. "How is he?"

"He is with Dr. Wilson, the neurologist, and some other doctor. They are examining him now." He saw the pain in her eyes, and used his long fingers to wipe her tears. "Linda, you gotta be strong now. You need to have faith."

Linda could not contain the tears. "Oh, Ray... He doesn't know who I am..."

"Look, he'll get over it. I saw him forget everything once. He didn't know who he was, who I was, where he was from. It looked bad, but he recovered in no time. He will get over it, you'll see."

"He forgot you, too?" Linda was curious. "How did it happen?"

"It was a case. He fell from a car, and hit his head. But he bounced back in no time. He has a very hard head." Linda did not laugh, so Ray took her into his arms. "Look, don't let fear take the best of you, OK, _ragazza_? Everything will be fine. I am right here."

Linda did not answer, she just cried in Ray's arms, in the middle of the hall. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Ray spotted Dr. Wilson coming out of Benny's room. The doctor also saw them and walked to their direction.

"Ah, Detective, I was about to get you."

"Yes, Doctor. How is he?"

Dr. Wilson looked at him, mindful of Linda's presence and her red eyes. "Constable Fraser seems to be having an episode of amnesia. Ironically, he recalled having one before."

"Yes, I was there. But he recovered fast at the time. He will do that again, right?"

"We can never be sure. I will be frank with you, Detective. If you have gone through this before, I don't think I can tell you anything you don't know. The same conditions and recommendations apply: he is to be exposed to familiar places, faces and things. No one can say when he will recover fully, if ever. Having recovered once is not an indication he might do it again. I am sorry, but it is true."

Linda felt the cold hand still holding her heart, and now it seemed to be squeezing it even harder. Ray was still holding her, and felt her gasp quietly.

"How is he now?"

"He seems fine, although a little bit surprised. His reaction was good. But it seems that he cannot remember the last couple of years. He is aware that I want him in observation for a few days. There are other aspects of his treatment to consider, too, so he will be in hospital a while."

"Should we fill in the gaps for him or do we wait until he can do that?"

"I'd recommend you exercise your best judgement. Traumatic news can make his memory recoil even more. Whatever you tell him, keep that in mind. If he reacts badly to anything you tell him, tell me immediately. It is important."

"I will do that."

"He has asked to see you, Detective. I will have him take another batch of exams in the morning."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"And try not to worry too much, OK?" The neurologist was looking at Linda, who hadn't said a word, eyes huge and terrified. "He is strong and his reactions are very good, so I think we have a good chance of full recovery. Keep you chins up."

Linda nodded, and took a deep breath. Ray patted her, "Let's go."

They thanked the doctor and went back in the room. Ben was in bed and smiled when Ray went inside. "Hi, Ray."

"Hey, Benny. We were with the doctor." Linda followed Ray inside the room, and stayed by his side. If she weren't so anxious to see Ben, she'd rather hide from pure fear of everything that was happening.

The Canadian said in a sad manner, "Oh, I see the good news travel fast."

"Let me tell you, Benny. Life with you is really exciting. You don't really remember when I came back from the assignment?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, but I don't recall it. Must have been a big party."

"I was shot. Took a bullet for you. Stan was there." Ray shrugged. "Long story, Benny."

The clear blue-grey Canadian eyes were staring at him intensely. "You are going to tell me, aren't you?"

"Some other time, Benny. First things first." He stepped aside and brought Linda forward. "I want you to meet Linda." Linda was shaking.

Ben smiled diplomatically. "Oh, yes. I am sorry about what happened before. I don't seem to remember you, Miss. Nice to meet you. Ray said you are a friend. Are you a nurse?"

The girl totally blushed, and could not meet his eyes. It was as if she was meeting a total stranger with Fraser's face. She shook her head. "No, I am not. Er... Actually, I am... I am..."

Linda could not know what to answer him. What could she say? _No, Ben, I am not a nurse. I am the one who loves you more than my own life. The one who would die for you. The one who cannot live without you. That's who I am._ How could she tell him that?

Fraser was looking at her expectantly. Linda tried to cleared her dry throat and stammered, "I am... Well, I..."

Ray ended the trouble. "Fraser, she is your girlfriend. More than that: you two have lived together for more than a year, now. There, I said it." He shook his head. "Jeez, sometimes I don't even know how you two even made it together."

It was Fraser's turn to blush in a lovely shade of deep red.

"Ray," said Linda, totally embarrassed, too. "You are making Ben uncomfortable."

Ben was having a problem with his voice, because it came out all wrong. "We... live together?" Ray nodded, and Ben went on, "And we, uh, do we...? I mean, are we...? Oh, dear... Have we..."

Linda took the courage and said. "We are not married, Ben, but you have asked me. At least twice. We are planning to do that sometime soon."

Ben looked at her. "Oh." He paused. "And we have been...friends since when?"

Linda felt as if another person had taken possession of her body. "I work in this hospital. Ray was taken here when he was shot, almost three years ago. We met then."

"Oh." He nodded. "Nice."

She offered, "The doctor said that exposing you to familiar things may help trigger your memory. We can do that when you get released from the hospital."

"Yes, it helped once." Ben recalled, then his eyes came to his lap.

Linda fidgeted again, then she tried to smile. "We seem to have a lot of catching up to do."

Ben flashed a quick and nervous grin. "I can second that."

"Good that you both feel this way," Ray chirped in. "It means you two have a lot to talk about. I think I will leave you alone now. Since you had plans to stay with Fraser tonight anyway, Linda, I don't think your plans will change at all." He grabbed his coat and smiled.

Linda lost all colors on her face for the second time. Ray was going to leave her alone with him?! Fraser turned a shade lighter, too, and tried to object, "But Ray–"

"No, there is no need to thank me, Benny. That is what buddies are for. I will see you in the morning, OK? Good night, you two. And behave, children."

"Ray!"

Too late. The Italian winked at her and slipped away from the room. Linda turned back to Ben and smiled nervously. He did the same.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Ben offered. "Ray must be thinking we should get... reacquainted."

"Yes, I guess so." Linda looked around. She had to face this awkward situation. For Ben's sake, she would have to be strong now. She tried to dispel any awkward feeling. "Can I get you something? Are you hungry, maybe you want some water?"

"No, I am fine, thank you. Please, have a seat."

She obeyed. "Thank you."

"Miss," he said, and Linda tried not to cringe at the word, "can you tell me why I am here? I was told there was a bomb, but no one told me anything else."

"I don't know much myself. It happened while we were having lunch at the mall. You saw a man leave his suitcase under a table. So, you went after him; I took his suitcase to give back to the man. I grabbed it, and then suddenly you were running to me, yelling bomb, and I dropped the suitcase. The bomb went off and you were hurt while trying to protecting me." Linda looked directly at his beautiful eyes, her own green ones filled with adoration. "You saved my life."

Ben was getting red as serge and said, "I hope you forgive me if I, uh, still have some trouble with this... concept."

"Of course. I understand." Linda was so embarrassed. "It's just... strange to me."

"And we... live together?"

"Yes, we do." _Please remember._

"At my apartment at West Racine? It is a bit small for two people."

"No, Ben, we moved to a slightly bigger one, which is nearer Ray's house. The neighbors are very kind people."

"They take wolves?"

"Dief was accepted as a pet. You know how gets to be treated like a dog, but he has understood the situation." Linda tried to smile, and felt Ben growing more uncomfortable by the minute. "I will talk to him when I get home and tell him you are better."

"How long have I been here?"

"The attack was three days ago, and we were brought here. I was also under observation."

Ben pointed to the bandage in her forehead. "You were hurt."

Linda touched it, and laughed. "No, it was nothing, really. I had a horrible headache and was deaf for a couple of hours, but that was all. I am free to go."

"Would you like to?" Ben asked.

"Like to what?"

"To go."

Linda got closer to his bed, her heart bleeding. "No, Ben. I want to be with you, to help you. I love you."

Ben did not look at her. He scratched his eyebrow. "That is very kind of you. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I know you find this situation odd, because you look at me and you see a stranger. I am not a stranger. I love you. I can imagine you may be a little scared about it. But we can get through this. Please trust me." _Please remember, my love._

Fraser nodded, at a loss for words. Everything was so confusing. It was obvious that this lady had deep feelings for him. Unfortunately, he hardly knew her. Maybe he had an infatuation. She certainly seemed a very nice girl.

"Thank you for your kind words."

Linda sighed. "Ben, you don't remember this. But I became very sick last year. And you stood by my side even when I made it clear you did not have to. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I am not being kind. I do it out of love. You are everything I have. Without you, I am alone in this world and my life in meaningless."

Now he had to look at her. Nobody had ever told him these things. He had never thought it possible to have someone in his life. There, in Chicago, he was very thankful for Ray's friendship, for he still felt exiled, unwanted in Canada. And now, this girl, someone who he did not remember ever meeting, was telling him about love.

"Well, you surely must have a family that must be worried about you, or..."

Linda shook her head. "There is no one. I lost my mom when I was three, and I was taken away from my Dad when I was five or six. I grew up in an orphanage, then in... another institution. Much like you, Ben, I have no family. Actually, Ray's family adopted me – like they did with you. You _are_ everything I have in this world, Benton Fraser."

He looked at her. This was getting stranger than he first anticipated. He tried to come up with something to say. All he had was questions.

"May I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"This may sound strange, but.... Did you sing to me? I seem to recall hearing your voice, but was there a song?"

Linda beamed. "Yes, Ben. I sang to you. You did the same thing for me, too, when I was in a coma, and I remembered it afterwards. I was sure you would, too."

"Yes, I remember your voice", he said. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me."

He smiled politely. Linda's heart sank. Ben was being polite to her, and by doing that, he was treating her like a stranger. She wished she could just hold him really tight and kiss him. But she knew that would scare him even more. Linda was having trouble with the concept of Ben looking at her with that frightened look he generally used to reserve for Francesca when she was behaving predatorily.

"Oh, dear," Linda said suddenly. "With all this excitement, I forgot I had promised to call Meg when you went out of the coma. Do you mind if I call from here? Maybe you'd like to talk to her, too?"

Fraser looked at her, unable to conceal his surprise. "Are you talking about Inspector Thatcher, my superior officer? You call her... Meg?"

"Yes, we are friends, Ben. She is your friend, too." Linda recalled they were not that close two years ago. "See, you turned your superior officer into a friend. And she is a dear friend, too. She is worried about your health."

"So... she is no longer... you know, the Dragon Lady?"

Linda smiled and lowered her voice, "Well, according to Ray, she still is, and maybe she'll always be. But now she's a good friend of ours. Anyway, do you mind if I call her from here?"

"Please, feel free."

Linda took the phone by his head table and appraised Thatcher of the news, knowing that the clear eyes of the patient in bed were intent on her. She was careful with the words, trying to spare Fraser to hear about all they had been though. Not to mention the pregnancy...

Fraser observed the girl carefully and tried to follow the one-sided conversation as politely as he could. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but feel amazed at the obvious friendship that this girl had with his superior officer. How did that happen?

"That was surprising", he confessed when she put the phone down. "It's hard to imagine the Inspector so... sociable." He yawned. "Oh, please forgive me. I think it is the medication."

"I guess you'd better have some rest now. You lost a lot of blood and fluids, the doctor said, and you need to recover."

"I believe you are right."

"Ok, then." Linda helped him get under the covers, then noticed the blush on his cheeks. "Oh." He was embarrassed, and so was she. "I will be right here, if you need anything." She returned to her chair by the side of the bed.

Fraser was really tired, because he merely smiled, and closed his eyes. Linda also closed hers. Out of despair.

*** * ***

It turned out Fraser slept a lot while Linda was with him. There was no denying that he was uncomfortable every time she was there. It seemed Ray's scheme to get them reacquainted backfired. She talked to Dr. Lennyard about it. He was satisfied by the way she was handling it all, and said he was proud of her. But that did not lessen the pain she felt.

Her main source of strength was not the good doctor. Not surprisingly, it was her friend Ray, who sensed the girl's distress and tried to help as much as he could. But Linda was extremely sad. Fraser's distant behavior was taking its toll on her.

"You gotta hold on, Linda."

"I am fine, Ray." Her voice cracked, and her heart was broken. "I know we can get through this."

"Good, good, girl. Of course you will. Maybe if you stick around long enough, he will start to remember."

"He is still very uncomfortable when I am around, Ray. I hate to see him this way." She averted her eyes.

Ray noticed she was hiding from him. "Linda?"

She looked up at him. Ray saw her green eyes filled with tears. She asked, "Yes?"

He touched her chin gently, and said softly, "I am here, sweetie. If you need me, I am here."

She plunged herself in his arms, shaking. "I am so afraid, Ray."

"I know you are. I am, too." Ray sighed. "I am pretty scared myself."

Linda held back her tears. "We must not give him any stress. So, if you please don't tell him about Victoria, about everything she put us through, even about the baby..."

"Are you sure? These are major events; they might trigger his memory somehow. And the baby might give him reason to recover faster."

"He might feel obliged to marry me or something, Ray. I will not let him do this out of duty. I love him, and I don't want him by my side and unhappy. He might do this; you know it's the sort of thing he might do."

"I have to agree with you there. But since you are asking me, I will do it. OK, I won't tell him anything that might upset him." Ray kissed her forehead. "And try to cheer up, OK? It is not as bad as it looks."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Ray."

Despite all their precautions and hopes, Fraser's memory of his life in the last two years seemed to have vanished. As he was allowed a few visitors, he watched carefully the interaction between his visitors and the girl who became the ever-present guardian on his room. He was still very puzzled with Linda.

Fraser was polite when Inspector Thatcher came to visit the next day. He noticed how his superior officer seemed relaxed around Ray and Linda, and he was surprised. The Canadian woman noticed his reactions. She was also amused that he had returned to be the same Fraser of a few years ago, a little distant, stiff and professional. She shortened her visit. After Thatcher left, Ray spent a few more minutes discussing the nature of the case with Fraser. Sure enough, the FBI had taken the case from them and there had been nothing Welsh could do. Ray could not accept that.

"I still think it is so unfair."

"But it is procedure, Ray," said Fraser. "Everything points out to a terrorist attack. It is a federal case."

"Anyway, I am supposed to hand over all my notes to them tomorrow. Linda, they might want to take your deposition again."

The girl shrugged. "All right. I can't help much anyway. Ben was the one who saw the suitcase owner."

"But I can't remember."

Ray almost snorted. "Yea, Benny, can you spell déja-vù?" They both laughed, and Ray grabbed his coat. "Well, folks, I gotta go."

Fraser said, "Ray, I thought you were staying tonight."

"Staying? Why?"

"So that Linda could rest. She has been here since yesterday, not to mention her work, and she needs to get decent rest."

The girl reassured him, "No, I am fine, Ben."

"I insist," he said. "You have been very kind to stay with me and you also brought me food and entertainment."

Ray said, "You call your father's journals entertainment?"

"Well, Ray, it was a kind gesture. You know I enjoy reading them."

"Of course you do, pal." The Italian laughed.

Linda said gently, "Ben, I can stay with you at night. It is no burden."

"I really think you should rest, Linda." Something in his clear blue eyes made her falter. "Please. Ray can stay with me. Isn't it so, Ray?"

Linda realized she had just been dismissed. Ben simply wanted a break from her company. Still, she put on the best smile she could and said, "Maybe you have a point, Ben. You and Ray need some quality time. Besides, I should tend to Dief. He has been complaining of staying too long away from home."

Ray offered. "I will take you home."

"No, absolutely, Ray." She took her coat. "I am perfectly capable of walking home."

"Well, at least take a cab, Linda," said Ray. "Now it is my turn to insist. It is late."

"Okay, then." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Take good care of him, you hear?"

"You know I will."

Linda turned to Ben and smiled. Her heart almost stopped. She put her hand over his arm and squeezed it gently. "Take care of yourself, OK?"

"I will. Thank you". His voice was warmer than before, and her heart raced.

"I will return after my shift tomorrow. We can have lunch together."

"Uh, yes."

Difficult as it was, Linda smiled and nodded. She did not take a cab as she promised Ray. She needed the long walk home to dry her tears.

Then, when she got home, she could not sleep. Dief had amber eyes glued on her, and she cuddled the wolf, wishing that her worries might be dispelled.

So Linda thought it might be better reassess her whole situation before everything spun out of control. Now she had a baby to think about. Ben was in no condition to help her take the decision, so she had to do it on her own.


	3. Chapter 3

## Chapter 3

After taking Diefenbaker to the Vecchios and taking care of a few other things at home, Linda went to work that morning trying to feel a little better. Morning sickness did not help, of course. When she arrived at the hospital, she went to Ben's room, but Ray said he was sleeping, and she thought it would be best not to disturb him.

So, it was lunchtime when Linda finally saw her beloved, and he was sitting in bed with his legs dangling. Very uncharacteristic of him.

"Hello, Ben."

"Hello."

"How do you feel today?"

"I am fine, thank you."

Linda tried to get near him, and saw his body stiffen as she got closer. With her heart broken, she tried to act casually and put the parcel she brought over the bed. "Diefenbaker sends his regards. He seemed pleased to know that you are getting better."

"Well, yes. But... I still can't remember you."

"You will, Ben. I am sure you will get your memory back in no time. Have you and Ray talked enough?"

"Yes. He told me that Ray Kowalski went on another undercover assignment."

"That is true. Last time I saw him he was still undercover. I wonder if he still is."

He eyed her surprised. "You know Ray?"

Linda blushed. "We met by accident". She thought fast on what to say next, still not wanting to mention Victoria. "He was trying to help the 2-7 in a case, and sent the message through me so no one knew of his involvement. He couldn't appear directly, for he was still undercover. Clever, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Ben shrugged. "Ray is a very resourceful man."

"I wish I could have known him better. He was undercover, so it was not possible. A pity."

Ben smiled politely at her. Linda cringed inside at it. She had thought about it at night. It was hard enough to see the man that she loved treating her like a stranger. But she also realized that she might be submitting Ben to an embarrassing situation. Linda wanted to make it clear, and be honest with him.

"Ben." She got closer, despite of his discomfort. "I want you to know that we have always been very honest with each other. We are still working on that, on opening up. It is not something very easy for neither of us."

"I see."

"So, please, I want you to be very honest with me. I have a question for you, and I really want you to answer it with utmost sincerity."

Fraser looked at her, his blue eyes gleaming with intensity, making her heart race. _Focus, Linda. Be strong and ask what you want to know._

"You are feeling uncomfortable with me around, aren't you?"

Blushing furiously, Fraser averted his eyes and said, "Well, I told you that all this was quite new to me. You knew it would not be easy."

"But you can tell me. You are uncomfortable, aren't you? Would you rather be alone?"

He smiled sadly. "Am I that transparent?"

"Not really, but I know you." She averted his eyes. "So... Do you?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes... As a matter of fact, I... I was wondering if you'd mind if we stopped seeing each other for a while."

_Oh God. Does he mean what I think he means?_

"I can limit the visits." Linda suggested. "Is that what you mean?"

He seemed even more uncomfortable. "Actually, I mean we should not see each other. For some time, that's all."

A pit opened up at Linda's stomach. Ben saw her face blanch and quickly added, "I am sorry. It is nothing you said or did, but, uh, there might be a chance I may have made some promises I obviously can no longer keep, uh, and I thought this might be, uh...Well, I think... Look, I am very sorry, and –"

Linda interrupted him. "No need to apologize, Ben. I asked for your honesty, and you gave me it. I thank you for that." She felt things happening in slow motion. "Well, then I guess I better make all necessary arrangements to move out of the apartment, and find a new place to live."

Fraser snapped his head up, surprised. "Move out?" He never meant it at all. "No, you don't have to do that. It was not my intention. Please... Please, Miss, I did not mean..."

"But Ben, it's better this way. You've already said you feel uncomfortable when I visit you in the hospital, so can you imagine about living together? Be honest. It would be torture, to say the least." _Yes, torture to me, at least._

Ben nodded heavily. "I guess you are right."

Linda went on before he said anything else. "And the lease is in your name, so it's only fair I should be the one to leave the apartment. You don't have to worry about anything. I will take care of the move as soon as I can, OK?"

Benny tried to make things easier. "But it doesn't have to be today. You can stay all the time you need to find a new place. Besides, I am still on the hospital."

"Nonsense, Ben. I can stay with a friend and save you a world of trouble. It is no problem at all." Linda wondered how could she lie that calmly. She felt numb inside, maybe that explained it. "I have already taken Diefenbaker to the Vecchios, so he would not be so alone, and it means you don't need to worry about him at all. Also, I have washed all blood off the dress uniform. You have only clean ones in the closet now."

"Thank you. Please, Miss, I really appreciate your attention, and your dedication, and I am sorry..."

She never let him finish again. "Ben, there is no need to apologize, I told you. I did everything out of love. Besides, all I want is for you to get better. If I remain here as a source of stress to you, I become an obstacle to your recovery, right? And that is the last thing I want to be. I love you, Ben. All I want is your happiness. So quit worrying about me, and concentrate on getting your memory back." Linda smiled at him, broken hearted at the inside, and what an effort it was not to tremble her lips as she did it.

Ben nodded. "Understood."

"Well, then I guess I better get started." She picked up her coat and pointed the parcel she had brought. "Oh, I almost forgot. I took the liberty of bringing you some clean clothes. I imagined you might need them, since I took your tunic to the cleaners. I'll leave my key to the apartment with the neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Mutchnik. They live next door, Ray knows them. You will love them, I am sure."

"I see."

Linda shrugged her coat on and buttoned it, ready to leave. " I guess that's it, then." They looked at each other, and Linda felt the pit on her stomach opening even further, bleeding endlessly. "Can... I mean, _may_ I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"May I keep the ring?" Fraser looked at her, lost. Linda showed her hand. "I know you don't remember it, but you gave me a ring. Now, don’t worry. It is not an engagement ring, you said. But it is very dear to me. Do you mind if I keep it?"

For a moment, Fraser was confused. Linda asked silently to any god listening that Fraser not ask to see the ring or the inscription, otherwise she might give up keeping the ring altogether. After a few seconds, he nodded slightly. "Of course you can keep it."

Linda sighed. Inside she knew. It was not enough. Not enough.

It was an impulse, but she had to ask. "May I ask you for a kiss?"

He looked at her, saw the expectation in her green eyes, then did not have the heart to refuse. Still he looked like an animal about to be slaughtered. "Very well."

Linda got closer and put her hand on his cheek, then kissed his other cheek, gently and lovingly, knowing it was the last time. She could not help but look deep into the eyes she adored for the last time and run her fingers through his hair. "Take care, Ben. You will be in my prayers." Her voice finally cracked and her eyes filled with tears. Linda saw Ben's eyes changing the expression as he saw her pain.

Before he could react, Linda fled the room, feeling as if the walls were closing in on her. She could hardly believe that it had been the second time that Ben had asked her to get out of his life – and this time he _meant_ it. She never thought it could happen again. Like the first time it happened, she was numb and dizzy. It was as if it was happening to somebody else. But she had to do as Ben had asked her.

Linda never had much in life, so it was easy to grab all her available money (which was not much), to put her few possessions in a suitcase, and to ask Mrs. Mutchnik to keep her keys and to get them to Ben when he got back. Linda did not let the good woman ask any questions. She just thanked the old lady very much for everything she had done for her, grabbing her bags and fleeing the home where she had been so happy.

It was afternoon in Chicago, and Linda roamed the streets, wondering what was she to do with her life from now on. In her mind, her life was over. It was over the moment that Ben had asked her to leave. Linda decided that it was some sort of password to a total cut from everything they had together.

It was not hard to see why. Linda would not bear being around Ray and not seeing Ben. She would not bear going to work and knowing he would not appear to pick her up. She would not endure going to old places, doing same things. It had happened once and she almost died of absolute sadness. If it were not for Ray and the Vecchio clan, she probably would be dead, of sheer grief.

Now, though, it was not the same thing. Linda knew it. This time she had her baby to think about. It seemed the poor kid had just lost his father, but his mother vouched to take care of him. Walking around the streets of Chicago, Linda promised herself she would take care of her child the best she could. Since she had lost Ben, life totally lost its meaning to Linda. But she had the baby to think about. So she would live only for the baby. She’d had to have strength for the child.

It would have to be enough to keep her going. No matter how senseless her own life became, she would care for her and Ben's baby.

**_* * *_ **

"Hey, Benny. How are you today?"

"Fine, Ray."

Ray looked around as he closed the door. "Is Linda in the bathroom?"

"No, I think she is home."

"Home? I thought she would be here. I can't stay tonight with you, Benny. Surely she wouldn't refuse to take care of you."

"She doesn't have to stay with me, Ray, neither do you. I am fine."

"Benny, I don't understand it. Linda would not be home if you are in a hospital. Did you say anything to her?"

"Yes, Ray, we talked."

The Italian's heart began to pick up speed, and he tried not to get alarmed, but he was sensing some great calamity ahead. "You talked." The tone indicated he was waiting for further enlightenment.

"Yes. We talked about the awkwardness of the situation. So we decided we better not see each other for a while."

Green eyes went wide with the Canadian’s last words.

" _What?!_ "

"Yes, Ray. She accepted it. Although I could clearly see she was not happy, she understood the situation and agreed with me. In fact, she insisted to take care of everything."

Ray was pale. "Oh, jeez. She _agreed_ with it?"

Benny nodded. "I am sorry, Ray. I know she is your friend, and –

Ray exploded, "My friend? My _friend?!_ Benny, she is your _lover_! That girl worships the ground you step on! She would never do such a thing unless you asked her!"

Ben was taken a little aback by his friend's reaction. "She seemed to understand the situation remarkably well, Ray. She did not resist in any way, or suggested an alternative. In fact, she was the one who asked me if I'd rather not have her here."

Ray was trying hard to remain calm. "Benny, Linda was heart-broken by the way you were treating her. She'd never show it so you wouldn't get upset. She would do anything to make you happy. Leaving you would be a small sacrifice comparing to what she had already done for you."

"Already done? Ray, I don't understand."

"She did not let me or anyone else tell you a word about everything that happened since you guys met. She has been raped, kidnapped, drugged, used and abused multiple times. She remained paralyzed for practically a year and almost died a thousand times. All for you, Benny. Well, sometimes for me, too, but mostly for you."

The Canadian was surprised. "I did not know that. How... How all those things happened?"

Ray inspired and said the word he most hated to utter in the Universe. "Victoria."

Ben grew so pale he felt dizzy. A thousand emotions passed through his face, a thousand more inside his mind. "Oh, no," he whispered.

"Benny, you have no idea of what you did."

The poor Mountie seemed lost. "I... Ray, I just didn’t...Please, I... didn’t mean... "

The Italian sighed, and softened his features. "Of course it's not your fault, Benny. You did not know. I just wished you had asked me about it first. _Both_ of you."

"Oh, dear." Benny used his thumb to trace a line on his eyebrow. A deep line. "It seems I am in dire need of... an update. And more information, I guess."

"You can say that again, Benny." Ray grabbed his coat, determined. "But I don't have time to fill you in right now. I am going to your apartment. I have to talk to her and fix things before it’s too late."

"What are you going to say?"

"Benny, amnesia or not, you two need to talk." Ray got near Ben, his words hissing menacingly. "And despite all your problems in getting near people and in opening up, you _will_ talk to Linda. Do you hear me? I don't care what you'd rather do; I don't care if you get awkward around her, or if you'd rather be nekkid tackling caribou with your bare hands and a feather in your hair. Talk to her, listen to her. I will go get her now, and I want you two to spend the night talking, if necessary. Ask her all she has suffered because of the Psycho Bitch, and make her tell you the shit we've all been through. If we are lucky, we can solve this. Pray that we can, because if not, Linda may not survive it this time. "

Ben would have stepped back if he were standing up. He could not remember seeing Ray like this before. Not even when Irene died. Not when the IA accused him of planting evidence against Charles Carver. Never.

The Italian went out and almost crashed the door to pieces as he slammed it in fury, frustration and fear. He had to find Linda. Fast, before things got totally out of control.


	4. Chapter 4

## Chapter 4

Less than an hour after leaving Benny, Ray was back at the hospital. Back with a vengeance.

"OK, Benny", he slammed the door, never caring if it was late at night, or if the nurses would go crazy about it. "I want you to tell me _exactly_ what you said to Linda."

"Ray?"

"She is gone, Fraser." Ray was almost losing his nerve. "She took all her stuff with her and told Mrs. Mutchnik to give you her key to the apartment." He raised his voice. "Did you throw her out, Benny? Did you?!"

Fraser was really feeling sick. "No, Ray, of course not! She was the one who decided to leave. But I told her she could stay in the apartment as long as she wanted –"

Before he could finish, Ben saw Ray's body flying in his direction; his hospital gown balled up in the Italian's hands, green eyes getting golden hazel in raw anger. "Shit, Benny! You... you should have stopped her!" Ray shook Benny violently. "How could you do that?! How _could_ you?!"

"Ray, I am sorry. I am _so_ sorry; I did not know." Fraser could see how weak those excuses were, but they were the only ones he had – and they were the truth. "I had no idea, Ray, please, forgive me. I feel so bad already, and I don't know what else I can say."

Ray threw him back in bed, frustrated. " _Shit!_ " He tried to breathe, and grabbed his balding head. "I don't believe this is happening, Benny, I don't fucking believe it."

Ben watched his passionate friend go from fierce to sorrowful again. Due to the proximity of his young nephews and nieces, Ray never used swear words, so Ben knew he was really upset. Sincerely, he repeated, "I am sorry, Ray, please, forgive me. I am really sorry."

Ray closed his eyes. "No, Benny, _I_ am sorry. I had no right to blow up on you like that. I am just so angry. Not at you, of course. You are not to blame." He sighed. "Can you forgive me?"

"I am the one who need to beg for your forgiveness, Ray. I had no idea of what she meant..."

"Forget it, Benny. Just try to understand what I am feeling."

"I do understand you, Ray. What are we going to do?"

"Gotta find her. Fast. Did she tell you were she was going?"

"She said she would be staying with a friend. She made it clear it would be no problem. That is why I was so... untroubled." Benny looked at Ray. "Do you know who she meant?"

Ray sighed. "She lied to you, Benny. There is no friend. She was telling what you wanted to hear so that you would not worry. You have to know how to read Linda; just one has to know how to read you. You two are so alike." He shook his head then sighed again, defeatedly. "Anything else?"

"No, nothing that could help. I am sorry."

"No need to be. It is missing persons' procedure, and we'll have the cops looking for her as soon as possible. I'll call everyone she knows, talk to the nurses. Maybe they know something. Everything happened so fast that she probably didn't have time to get money or plan things. It means she won't be able to go far, at least not so soon. We're lucky she's just one person, and she's usually by herself –" Then it dawned on Ray, and he shivered. "Oh, sweet Jesus. I forgot."

Ben saw Ray's olive skin turning pale. "What is it, Ray?"

Tiredly and crestfallen, Ray turned to his best friend and told him in a flat, monotonous voice. "Linda is pregnant, Fraser. She meant to tell you the happy news the day that bomb went off at the mall. No one knows, and she made me promise I would not tell you, so you could hear it from her."

Benny’s eyebrows shot up. "Preg… nant?"

"Yes, Fraser. Of course it is your baby. You guys wanted kids, especially after Victoria stole and sold the one that ended up dying last year."

Fraser's eyes, which were wide, now were like saucers, furiously blue. Ray waved a finger on his face in triumph, "See? I told you there was a lot of things you needed to know."

*** * ***

It was getting late, so he did the dishes diligently and began preparations to turn in. His shift would begin early in the morning, and his stern superior officer would not tolerate if he arrived even a minute late. It had been a hard week at work, since they were short-staffed, and he would need the sleep.

The phone rang.

"Turnbull residence, good evening."

"Turnbull, hey, it’s Ray Vecchio."

"Detective Vecchio? This is a surprise, sir."

"Look, Turnbull, I am sorry to call you at this hour. I know Mounties go to bed early."

"It was no problem at all, Detective. What can I do for you?"

"I have a problem, a big problem. Have you talked to Linda today?"

"No, sir. I have not heard from Miss Linda. Is she okay?"

"We sure hope she is. She and Benny had a misunderstanding today, and she left her apartment today with all her things. We don't know where she went, and she might end up in trouble."

"Oh, my dear Queen Mum."

"I am calling all her friends in hope someone knows something. She might try to contact you. If she does so, could you please give me a call?"

"Of course I will. Rest assured, Detective."

"Thank you, Turnbull."

"Er, Detective, could you keep me posted?"

"Sure. Thanks again, Turnbull. Good night".

"Good luck, detective. And good night."

Constable Renfield Turnbull hung up with a dreadful feeling. He had known Miss Linda to suffer from depression at times, and he hoped she was all right. He fervently wished Detective Vecchio would call again in a few minutes saying she had been found and everything was fine.

Before Turnbull reached his bedroom, the doorbell rang. This was surely becoming a busy night, he thought.

"Yes?"

"Constable Turnbull? It is me."

Turnbull thought he recognized the voice, but only when he opened up the door he confirmed he had heard it right. It was a surprise, indeed.

"Miss Linda? Oh, please come on in, please."

Linda went inside the Mountie's apartment, suitcase in hand. She looked exhausted and drawn. Turnbull took the suitcase from her hands and made her sit on the couch. His impression was that Miss Linda seemed to be quite tired, even a little bit distraught.

Linda had been roaming endlessly in the streets of Chicago since she left her home. If Turnbull asked, she wouldn't be able to say where had she been. She didn't see, she didn't care. The world was still a bit confusing to her, and she was having trouble getting things straight on her mind. She was afraid of withdrawing inside herself and not interacting with the world anymore.

Then she realized Turnbull was still talking.

"This was such a coincidence. Detective Vecchio will be very pleased to know where you are."

Linda turned pale as a wax candle. "You talked to Ray?"

"Yes, as I was saying, he just called me and sounded worried sick. He was under the impression that you had had an argument with Constable Fraser, and after that you had taken away all your belongings and disappeared." The Mountie looked at the suitcase by the floor, then back to Linda. "Is that correct? "

"Yes, but… please, Turnbull, don't call him. I... just... I just... " She tried to control her tears and failed miserably. The Mountie immediately came close to her.

"Oh, Miss Linda, what is wrong?"

"I... I am just a little... out of control, Turnbull." Linda contained herself. "I was wondering if you would let me sleep here tonight."

"Don't you want to call Detective Vecchio? He really is–"

"No!" She said, a lot louder than she wanted, and wiped her tears. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to talk to Ray. But he will ask a lot of questions that I am not ready to answer, not right now. I need a place to stay. Just for tonight. I actually have a place to go, but it won't be ready until tomorrow morning. And I also need the time to think, you know."

"I understand." Turnbull smiled.

"I mean, I hate to impose, and I really want you to tell me if this is a bad time, or anything like that. I can go somewhere else, and it is no problem."

"No, Miss, not at all. You can stay, of course, and as long as you like. But I really think you should call Detective Vecchio."

"No, please. Please, Turnbull, promise me you won't do that. Will you?"

The Mountie stared at her for a moment hesitatingly. After a few seconds, he agreed. "All right, I promise. I also keep my word on your request. You are welcome to stay here for tonight, tomorrow night, and as long as you want." Turnbull looked at her, saw the state she was in and took an educated guess. "I was ready to make myself some tea. Would you like some as well?"

Linda had not eaten anything the whole day, but she was not hungry. However, not wanting to be rude to her gracious host, she nodded. "Tea would be nice, thank you."

That was how she ended up eating a little. After the meal, Turnbull announced, "I will make the bed for you now."

"No, please, Turnbull. I can't take your bed. I will be perfectly fine in the couch."

"Please, Miss, that is unacceptable. You are my guest."

"I am imposing on you, Turnbull, so I don't think I qualify as a guest. Please let me sleep in the couch. It would make me feel so much better."

Turnbull had an idea and nodded. "Very well, then. I will do as you ask on one condition."

"Condition?"

"Yes. Please call Detective Vecchio."

_Think fast, Linda, think fast._

"OK." Linda nodded. "But tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I get to work, I will call him."

The Mountie smiled brightly at her. "Now that is a deal, Miss. All righty then, let's prepare the couch for you."

It was a dreadful night. The couch was not bad, and Turnbull did try to make Linda as comfortable as possible. But Linda was so sad, with her mind so full of things to consider, that she was not able to sleep at all.

It was quite a lot she had on her mind. She still didn't know what to do with her life. She had nowhere to go, no place to stay, no one she could count on. Sweet as he was, Turnbull was sure to talk to Ray the next morning, even make her call him. This was everything Linda was trying to avoid.

For hours Linda’s mind went on and on, and she knew that all this nightmare would be over the minute Ben recovered his memory. But the doctor said that might never happen, so she should prepare for the worst-case scenario. She needed to rebuild her whole life. Remake everything from scratch again – with a baby, without Ben, without the Vecchios, and without any hope.

Ray would be looking for her. As a matter of fact, according to Turnbull, he was already doing that. She would need to think things really hard to outsmart a man as clever as Ray.

All night long those were the thoughts that ran over her head. At the crack of dawn, Linda gave up sleep and went to kitchen as silently as she could, in order not to disturb Turnbull. She started breakfast, so her host would have hot food when he woke up. It did not take long.

"Good morning, Miss Linda."

"Good morning, Turnbull." She smiled, stirring the eggs. "You arrived just on time. The eggs are almost done. Come, please, sit."

He obeyed. "I am such a terrible host, allowing my guest to cook for me."

"I am no guest, Turnbull. Besides, it is the least I could do for you, after all your kindness."

"You are certainly very welcome. Have you slept well?"

"Like a log, thank you," lied Linda as she made his plate. "You have a very nice couch."

Turnbull looked at the steaming plate in front of him and inhaled. "Smells delicious."

"Please, don't wait for me. It will get cold."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"No, thank you. I am not hungry."

Turnbull insisted, and Linda actually had a few bites. He cleaned the kitchen while she took a shower and they both went out. Outside, Turnbull reminded, "So you are going to keep your promise?"

"Yes. I will call Ray as soon as I get to work." She put her suitcase down and hugged him tight. "Thank you for everything, Turnbull. You are such a good friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay you this."

"Nonsense. That's what friends are for. Now you take good care. And remember: this door is always open to you, should you need it."

Linda was touched. "Thank you for everything, Turnbull. You are very kind. Goodbye."

"Have a nice day, Miss Linda."

Pleased with himself, Turnbull went on his way to Consulate in a fast pace, never noticing that Linda took the opposite direction from the hospital.

**_* * *_ **

"Vecchio."

"Oh, good afternoon, Detective.

"Turnbull, hi. What's up?"

"Have you received a phone call this morning?"

"Phone call? What are you talking about, Turnbull?"

The Mountie's voice seemed surprised. "Why, Miss Linda of course. Hasn't she called you?"

Ray sat up at his chair on the precinct, trying not to squeal. "You _talked_ to Linda?"

"She spent the night at my apartment, and I made her promise she would call you."

"She did? Turnbull, why didn't you call me as I asked you to? "

"I-I am so sorry, but Miss Linda made me promise not to. She seemed very upset. I was trying not to upset her even more. Please forgive me, detective."

"What did she tell you? Do you know where she is?"

Turnbull felt so bad. "I am afraid I don't know much. I am so sorry, detective, I just didn't want to upset her, and she seemed so sad already, and –"

Ray had to obtain some useful information. "Turnbull, never mind that now. You have to tell me what you two talked about. I need some clue."

"I am sorry, detective. She did not want to talk about anything. She told me that she needed time to think things through, and that was the reason she asked me not to contact you. But I made her promise to call you as soon as possible. I cannot believe she lied to me about it."

The tone of sadness in the young Mountie's voice made Ray feel bad for him. So he boiled down his temper. "Linda does that sometimes, when she is depressed, Turnbull. Besides, she's smart, too. Don't feel so bad if she deceived you."

"I wish I could be of more help, detective. I feel so bad to have let her go like this. I should have known better."

"At least you helped her, Turnbull. Besides, Linda knew that she could trust you, that was why she came to your apartment in the first place. You are a good friend and she likes you very much."

"If she comes again this evening, I will make sure she calls you, no matter what she says or asks me. Or I will call you myself. I pledge this on my honor, sir. I won't fail you again, sir."

"Yeah, Turnbull, you do that. And thank you. Now don't worry. We'll find her somehow."

"Yes, sir, we will. Count on me for anything, sir. Good day, detective."

"To you too, Turnbull."

Ray hung up and ran his hands through his head, sighing heavily. He could feel Linda slipping through his fingers. He hung on to the hope that somehow he would find her, as he had just told Turnbull. Somehow he would.


	5. Chapter 5

## Chapter 5

Linda was getting quite exhausted from walking and dragging around her sole suitcase. She still had no place to go and still had no idea what to do. Pretty soon she'd have to make a decision. It looks like she would be forced to go to Ray's house, an option she'd rather not take.

The sun was going down, and she needed someplace to sit and think for a while, maybe come up with a place to sleep that night. She never knew why her sore legs brought her to the mall, to the exact same mall where this entire nightmare had begun, but she could not help to feel that was the right place to be.

Could it be an unconscious goodbye? An appropriate farewell to be held in the place where she had lost her blessings and all hope of a happy life? That was the place where Linda last saw her Benny. Yes, she had begun to think of the man that woke up in the hospital as another Benton Fraser. In her mind, the Benton Fraser she knew and loved had never woken up from that bomb blast. This other Benton Fraser was nice, polite and Canadian, but he was not her Benny.

Linda put the suitcase down and went towards the food court – the place where Ben and she were having lunch before they spotted the suitcase that carried the terrorist bomb. She looked at the fountain, and realized the damages of the blast were still there. There was no water running, and some signs indicated the repair jobs were yet to be finished. A few yards to her right, more repairs. There was not that much damage, and an ignorant observer would never guess there was a bomb there less than a week ago. Life went on.

With a sigh, Linda picked up her suitcase and went to sit on a bench near to the dry fountain. If only she could clear her head.... But she missed Benny so much already, and she knew Ray had surely flipped out when he found out she was not coming back. Linda really did not know what could hurt more: being unloved by Benny or being away from him.

"Linda?"

Her heart raced at the sound of her name and she turned swiftly to see who had called her. It was a surprise. "You?!"

There was that balding man with big dark eyes smiling at her. He extended his hand. "Hi! I am Peter Wick, if you don't remember my name. I will understand if you don't." She shook his hand, and he never gave her a chance to talk. "It is nice to see you again. I see you are better."

"?"

The man pointed at her forehead, now clear from bandages. "Your wound. You are better."

Linda finally snapped out of the shock. "Oh, yes. Yes, I am better, thank you." She realized she must be giving a spectacle. "I am sorry, Mr. Wick. I was quite distracted."

"Yes, I saw you staring at the damage. It was not that much, though. Thank God no one was hurt." Peter Wick looked at the girl. "Vacation?"

"W-what?"

He made a gesture with his head. "Your suitcase. Are you taking a trip?"

Linda was so confused that she did not know how to react. "No, I am just... Actually, I might... but..." She sighed, for she did not know what to say. She became very disoriented, her thoughts mixing up.

"Linda, are you OK?" Peter became concerned. "You look like you need some help."

"No, I am fine, thank you." She could not contain her tears. "I am sorry, I am..."

Peter never let her finish. "Come with me. Let's sit down somewhere we can talk." He took her suitcase and led her to the rolling stairs to their right.

Linda did not really react when her sore legs followed him to the upper floor, where they entered a small cozy little shop. Peter smiled. "Here it is. My business. Welcome to The Petewick Papers."

She looked around, and was surrounded by a sweet smell of fresh paper, and some other stationery material neatly arranged in muted and pastel colors. There was a young Latino man at the register, with black hair and black clothes, who seemed intrigued at the visitor. Peter said, "Paco, this is my friend Linda. Linda, this is Paco, who helps me run the shop."

Linda tried to smile and be polite. "Nice to meet you."

He looked at Peter, then smiled back. " _Mi gusto_." Linda was taken aback to see he was a foreigner.

Peter told Paco. "Linda was at the blast, remember? She was at ground zero just now, and I think she needs to sit down a while. I will take her to the back of the store."

"OK," said the young man, looking at Linda with new eyes. "Nice to meet you, Linda."

Peter led Linda to a small room in the back, filled with boxes, crates, and a small desk. He put the suitcase on the floor, then produced a chair from behind a pile of boxes marked "recycled paper" and sat her on it. It was a relief to her sore legs.

"There. Now rest a while. You look a bit pale." Peter sat on the chair in front of hers.

"I am fine, thank you. You are very kind." Linda smiled at him, despite her infinite sadness.

Peter did not smile back. "You have a problem, don't you, Linda?" She nodded, but looked at the floor. "You can trust me, Linda. Sometimes I help people with problems." Linda did not present any enlightenment. "I cannot make you talk to me, of course. All I am offering is friendship. You can trust me; I hope you know that."

Linda looked at him, and found her heart really warming at such a thoughtful man. She smiled. "You are very kind, Mr. Wick."

"My friends call me Peter or just Pete. I hope you consider yourself my friend, because I certainly consider you as a friend of mine."

"I do.... Peter." They smiled at each other.

"Linda, does this have anything about your boyfriend?" Linda's eyes turned to the floor, her heart pierced. "I thought as much. Did he kick you out?"

"No!" Linda realized she shouted, and she did not mean to. "Sorry, I did not mean to shout. I just... I just...I am confused right now."

"But you do need a place to stay, right?" He was gesturing at the suitcase. "You left your old place, so I am guessing you used to live with him."

Miserable, Linda nodded. A tear escaped her cheek and fell on her lap. "It was not his fault. He doesn't remember me."

Her voice was so small that the man had to strain to hear her words. "He doesn't remember you? What happened to him? Did he lose his memory or something?"

"Yes. It is amnesia."

Peter looked at her, thinking furiously. There were many things to consider.

"Did he call the marriage off?"

Linda's head snapped up. "How did you know?"

"About the marriage? You told me. At the site of the explosion, you were trying to stop his bleeding and you told me you were going to get married. His name is Ben, right?"

Linda nodded, more tears falling. She tried to dry her face with her sleeve. "I couldn't stay. I was hurting him."

"What do you mean, hurting him?"

"My presence. He didn't remember me, and he wasn't comfortable with me around him. I could jeopardize his recovery."

Peter stared at her carefully. "How long have you been walking?"

Linda shrugged, embarrassed. "All day. Since yesterday. I slept at a friend's house, but I can't come back there. He will make me call Ray."

"Your cop friend?"

"Yes. I don't want to talk to him."

"Why?"

"He will try to make things better, and things won't get better. I can't stay near him either. It just... I can't stay."

"It hurts too much, right?"

Linda stared at the man in front of her once more. She never thought he could perceive her so well, because they barely knew each other. But this man could read her like an open book, it seemed. She was amazed.

Peter leaned towards Linda and said, as if addressing a child. "Linda, let me tell you something about me. I own this shop, but I do a lot of other things beside this. One of them is helping a community center. It is a voluntary job. I like it, because I can help people in need, and it makes me feel good. I know a lot of people who does things like that. Many of my friends there surely can help you find a place to stay. And a job, too, if you also need one."

"I do." She admitted. "I don't have much money."

"Well, then I think I might be able to help." Peter smiled, at last, then stood up. "But now I have other priorities. Look, it's getting late and I am getting hungry. Do you want to have dinner with me? My treat."

Linda was so embarrassed. "It's nice of you, but I don't want to impose or..."

"No, it's no imposition. Besides, I am really getting hungry, and I can eat like a horse when I get like that. I know a small diner at the next block that makes a killer chicken Parmesan. Want to try it? It would be rude to refuse."

"All right then." Linda blushed. "I appreciate it."

"Tell me that after you had the chicken Parmesan." He prevented her from picking up the suitcase. "No need to take it. We can come back for it later. Besides, meanwhile we eat, I can make a few phone calls, see if we can get a place for you to spend the night. Tomorrow I will help you look for a more permanent place."

"Thank you, Peter."

"No problem. Look, I just need to make a few arrangements with Paco, and then we can go, all right?"

Linda observed that Peter and Paco talked in a different language, not much dissimilar from the one she was used to hearing at the Vecchio's. Her heart pained to such a sweet memory. But those days were gone, and she'd better get used to it.

"I am good to go," announced Peter. Linda made an effort to look happier than she felt.

It didn't take long until she did not need to make efforts whatsoever to feel a little happier. Peter Wick charmed her, and somehow the man had her confiding in him in no time. He juggled the nice conversation and contacts made by cell phone, trying to get Linda someplace where she could spend the night.

Peter turned off the phone, sighing. "This is getting more difficult than I thought. I don't want to send you to a mission place. These places can be dangerous. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider spending tonight at my place? I have a roommate, but I don't think he will mind having you there. Besides, the couch is very comfortable."

Linda put her fork down and shook her head, "Please, Peter, I could not accept it. You have already been so nice to me. I am giving you so much trouble, and you are troubling other people on my account."

"Nonsense. I told you this is a sort of second job to me. I do this all the time."

"You invite people you barely know to sleep at your place all the time?"

He smiled. "Of course not. You are sort of special friend, you know that, Linda." His smile turned into a different shade, and Linda blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It is OK. I really appreciate what you are doing. I want you to know that."

Peter looked at her and she resumed eating. "I am glad I can help, Linda. I know you don't want your friends to find you, I can understand that. But you need to trust me. I mean, I don't want any problems with your friend the cop."

"Ray? He would not give you problems."

"Linda, I help people that need help. Sometimes they are in trouble. I mean _real_ trouble, like immigrants without papers, people who are around drugs, or people with a criminal record who want to get straight. They don't need cops around them. That is what I am trying to avoid."

Linda warned, "But Ray is going to look for me. I know him."

"I will have to lie to him, then." Peter shrugged. He stared at her. "Are you sure you are not hiding anything else from me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if the police are looking for you for some other reason, I have to know, Linda. That is what I mean. Or if you have a drug problem, this sort of thing."

Linda tried to reassure him. "No, Peter, the police are not looking for me. It would be just Ray, as a friend. Or maybe Dr. Lennyard, from the hospital, might be looking for me, too, but not because I have committed a crime, or anything."

"What about the bomber?"

"Who?"

"The bomber, the man who exploded the mall."

"I don't understand. What about him?"

"Can you identify him?" Linda looked intrigued and Peter explained, "If the bomber thinks you can tell the police who he is, then he might be after you, and you might be running away from him."

"No, I never really saw the man's face. If anyone saw him, it was Ben, but since his memory is gone..." Linda was not able to continue. She felt the pain again inside her chest and put her fork down, with a sigh. "I... am sorry. It is... hard."

Peter smiled in sympathy. "I understand, Linda." He put his hand over hers. "You can count on me."

Linda smiled, feeling warm by the look he gave her. She felt cared for and accepted. The only time this had happened before had been with Ben and Ray. She was embarrassed and looked down.

Peter retrieved his hand and said, "Hey, your chicken is getting cold. It would be a waste. Come on, eat something."

Linda nodded and resumed eating, feeling glad she could count on Peter Wick. Maybe her life was not totally over, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

## Chapter 6

Linda had a place to sleep by the time their dessert arrived. One of Peter acquaintances, a Sister Mary Jane, who ran the Mission at Broadway, accepted her for the night. Peter was clearly dissatisfied and promised better arrangements as soon as possible. Linda was more than glad to have a place to sleep without having to answer embarrassing questions, and she told him that.

Peter took her to the mission and introduced her to the nun, who promised Peter to take care of Linda. The young man said he would pick Linda up early in the morning so they could look for a job. She hugged him in sheer gratitude, then went inside the mission to sleep surrounded by nothing less than 35 other women – some with their children.

Linda did not sleep well that night. It was a strange place, after all, but that was not the main reason for her lack of sleep. She had nightmares, and woke up startled at least twice. Then she gave up sleep and stayed awake until early morning. The familiar sickness attacked her, and she had to run to the almost empty community bathroom. But not totally empty.

After collecting herself, she found Sister Mary Jane near her bed, talking to one of the women. Linda recognized the woman she saw in the bathroom moments before. The woman saw Linda coming and walked out of the room. The nun came to the girl, smiling.

"Good morning, Linda. Did you sleep well?"

"Very well, thank you," lied Linda politely. "I appreciate your kindness."

"I imagine you would like some breakfast before you go."

The mention of food almost made Linda rush back to the bathroom. "Thank you, sister, but I don't think so. I hardly eat breakfast."

Sister Mary Jane nodded sagely. "I see. Anyway, I think you should. It is good for the child."

Linda's eyes widened. "What?"

"Linda, I know you are pregnant." Linda felt a shiver down her spine. The woman in the bathroom! She must have told Sister Mary Jane. The nun never gave Linda room to a reaction. "Why are you trying to hide such a beautiful gift God gave you?"

The girl felt so ashamed. "I don't want anyone to know for now. This child... has no father. I will have to do everything by myself. I don't want pity, sister."

"You are wrong. See, there is a place that shelters young and unmarried mothers. You could have gone to that place last night. I will talk to Peter about it. They surely will have a nice place for you to live, then they will help you take care of your baby, and find a job for you." She put her arms on Linda's shoulders. "Don't feel so alone, child. God wants you to know there are people able to help you. And it is not pity."

Linda had a lump on her throat, caused by emotion, and could not answer the nun right away.

"I don't know what to say, sister.” Linda was so embarrassed. "I am sorry I lied to you."

"Don't worry. I am sure you had your motives. But I must insist on your breakfast."

Linda winced. "I really can't. I am so... queasy."

"I heard crackers and soda help that condition." She smiled. "Come, let's see what we can find in the kitchen."

Linda was there when Peter arrived, and tried to tell him the truth. But Sister Mary Jane had beaten her. Peter's reaction was exactly what Linda expected.

"What, pregnant?!" He turned swiftly to her. "Linda, is that true?"

She nodded, embarrassed. "I am sorry, Peter." Then she started to cry.

"No, it is OK, Linda. I am not mad at you. I am just surprised, that's all. But you could have told me." His tone was gentle. "Sister Mary Jane is right: we can put you in a shelter for unmarried mothers. It's called a house of passage. I will start making phone calls right now."

"Peter," Linda said. "Please. I cannot thank you enough already. You keep on helping me, and I don't know what to do in return."

He dismissed her with a smile. "I won't have any of it. Now come with me. I think I might know someone who can give you a job. But we must hurry. Let’s go."

Linda blurted her gratitude and apologies to the Sister and hurried after Peter. He took her to a huge and old building on the other side of town. Linda looked around when she came in and was introduced to a smiling Latino man around 50 years old.

"Linda, this is Jose Itxuaga, an old friend of mine. Jose, this is Linda, of whom I told you about."

The man greeted her effusively, his strong accent punctuating his words. "She is really lovely, Pete. Of course we can find something for her. The job does not pay much, little lady, but please let me welcome you." Jose looked closely to Linda, who was a bit intimidated by his outgoing and expansive ways. "Did the cat eat your tongue, child?"

Linda shook her head. "No, Mr. Jose. I am sorry."

"No, please, don't call me mister. We are all friends here."

"Yes, sir."

The man laughed out loud, and Linda kept on looking around. She figured the big building used to be a school or something, and asked about it.

"Actually, it was the mansion of a rich architect. He left it to the city when he died some 80 years ago, and now it is our community center. We have medical services, a day care center and some workshops for the community, as well as AA meetings. It takes a lot of work to keep it."

"I can see it." Linda looked around. "Maybe they can use an extra cleaning person. I can do that."

Peter's cell phone rang, and he answered it. Jose said to Linda. "Yes, I am sure you can. Are you sure you can do that? I mean, it is hard work and cleaning products can be very toxic. Peter tells me you are pregnant."

Linda said. "I can handle it, sir. Please, Mr. Jose. I need the job."

"And you shall have it, Linda. I think the night shift is going to be vacant next week, since Mr. Turner is moving to Cincinnati. Is that OK with you?"

"Sure. Anything."

Jose looked at her differently. "Linda, we are all friends, here, OK? You can tell me anything. And I would like to know now if you are in any kind of trouble. Peter said you had a fight with your boyfriend, and you are running from him. Did he beat you?"

"No, of course not. Nothing like that. But... we are no longer together." Linda sounded pitiful. "I just don't want to be near any of them. I can swear to you that I did not break any law, or anything. But I must warn you that my best friend is police officer, so if he comes looking for me, it is not because I am wanted or something like that."

He smiled. "Very well, child. Now it's better. All you have to do is trust me, and you are going to be just fine. And, if you are interested, I can offer you a good deal."

"A deal?"

"I suppose you also need a place to stay, eh?"

"Yes, that's true."

"The community center has a small room at the back, with a bathroom and a shower. It is perfect for one person to live in, if you don't mind living in modesty." Jose looked at Linda's skimpy suitcase. "I suppose this is all your luggage."

"Yes, I don't have many things. But I don't have much money, either, Mr. Jose. I am in no position to make any deals."

"I can offer you that small room, if you agreed to clean it and throw away all the garbage. I trade you this work for, let's say, a three-month rent. After that, if you still want to live in there, I can charge you a small fee. So, do you want to see it?"

"Sure." Linda looked at Peter, who was still on his cell phone. She gestured to him, he signaled, and the girl followed Jose inside the big corridors. Far away from the main halls, there was a tiny room. It was dirty, filled with trash and unwanted things.

Jose turned on the lights and said, "We use it as a storage room, but it is really storing garbage now. It is too small to be used in any community project, so we have just closed the door and forgot about it. But Peter said it has been difficult finding you a home. It seems all houses are filled with girls like you, many with children and fleeing abusive spouses. Those have preference over people who are not in life-threatening situations."

"I understand."

Jose continued to show her the place. "It has a window, so you can see light most of the day. I can arrange for a bed to be brought here, while you are cleaning. Of course, this would be on your own time, not while you are at work."

Linda nodded. "Sounds fair."

He walked through the derelicts and Linda followed him. "I can help you with the electricity, heating and plumbing problems to the bathroom. I will take care of that, or help find some volunteers to do it. With that, I think this place becomes livable."

The girl felt a lot of dust under her fingers. "It sure is a lot of work."

Jose smirked. "Well, I suppose I can give a discount and let you live for four months free of rent. And there is an extra advantage for you. You can do all pregnancy exams at the free clinic right here."

"Would I have a key to this place?"

"Not to the whole center, just to this wing and this room. You will be given permission to go and come at any time. I will introduce you to the watchmen. Oh, but of course, you do know there is not much silence around here. Except, maybe, on weekends, depending on other activities. At nights, there are neighborhood meetings, AA meetings, even driver's ed classes. At daytime, the activities are around families and children. You will get used to it."

"And what do you do?"

"I take care of a lot of small things. Like helping you and others, taking care of the rooms, supply and maintenance of the building. Aside from paying the bills and asking for donations so we can make ends meet."

"Sounds like a lot of work, too."

"Not really. But it gets too much work, since we don't have much money." He opened his arms, then put his hands on his hips. "So? What do you say?"

Linda said. "It is a challenge. I am willing to give it a try, if you don't mind."

"Mind? Let me get this straight to you, Linda. It is to my advantage, too. I get to put a use to a good space, and keep a room available, almost for free." He extended a hand. "So, we have a deal?"

She took his hand, and shook it, excited. "I guess so, yes, Mr. Jose."

The Latino shook his head and chuckled. "We have to do something about that Mr. Jose, soon, Linda. You make me sound like my father."

She giggled, and Peter walked in. "Sorry it took so long." Jose stared at him and he shrugged. Then he looked around. "I didn't know this room, Jose. But why are we here?"

Linda told him all about the deal with Jose. Strangely, Peter became nervous about it. He exchanged some strange looks with Jose, and Linda was surprised.

"I am not sure it is such a good idea, Linda. I mean, living here could be dangerous for you. It would not be quiet, nor calm."

"But I could save so much in transportation."

"What about food?"

Jose said. "You know the center has a good kitchen, Pete. If Linda volunteers for some help in the kitchen, then we could arrange another deal about giving her permission to eat there."

Peter exchanged another weird look with Jose. Linda thought they might not be such good friends. Jose said, "Well, this is not going to happen right away. The restoration is going to take a bit of a time, and you will need a place to live in the meantime. You can think things through during that time."

The girl tried to compromise. "I could try it for a while. We can see how things go."

Still reluctant, Peter said. "I still don't think it is a good idea, Linda. But Jose is right: this is not going to happen tomorrow. And I got great news for you. There is a house for ladies close to the north side that has an opening. But we gotta get there fast. Let's go."

"Now?"

Linda looked up nervously at Jose, who smiled and calmed her. "Rest assured. I won't give your job to anybody. Go there, install yourself, then you come back so we can discuss the job a little bit more. OK?"

Linda consulted Peter with her eyes, and he nodded. She beamed back to the community center director. "Ok. Thank you, Mr. Jose."

Peter took her to the House of Passage Kathy Dailey (also referred as the HOP), where Mrs. Emerson (the caretaker) assigned Linda to a room with a girl named Sue. Linda did not get to meet the girl, because Sue was at the hospital at the moment. Then Linda returned to the community center and discussed details of her new job with Mr. Jose.

The day was almost over when she returned to the HOP. She took a shower and met some other women, even some with small children before lying on her new temporary bed. She'd have to get used to being around that many people pretty fast. It felt like a new beginning. A sad, yet new beginning. Linda's only question was how long would she endure living without Ben in her life.


	7. Chapter 7

## Chapter 7

Benton Fraser closed his bag with a strange undefined pain in his chest. Since that girl Linda went missing, he could feel the resentment from Ray. Of course, Ray never said anything. Ray even stressed many times that Fraser was still suffering from amnesia, and could not be blamed for what had happened. Still, the Mountie could feel his friend worried and angry about the girl's disappearance.

There was something about the whole situation that made Fraser very uncomfortable around Ray. Fraser was determined to help him find her, thought it would make him uncomfortable. But Ray was his friend, so he would do it, even if only for Ray's sake.

It felt strange to be released and not have his memory back. Sometimes, when he woke up, he almost expected to see the other Ray, a blonde detective with nervous blue eyes. Then he remembered that Ray Kowalski was on another undercover assignment, and that the old Ray was back. Those situations happened less and less. But Linda was still a puzzle to Fraser.

The Mountie could not deny a little attraction. Linda was pretty and captivating, in her own delicate way. He noticed the way her eyes cast upon him. Something about it filled his stomach with butterflies. In a good way, though, he had to admit.

Ben somehow had expected Linda to act some more like Francesca. After Ray told him the nature of their relationship, Ben fully expected the predatory gleam, the lascivious innuendo, the intimidating moves and the suggestive giggling. Actually, besides Francesca, there were a lot of women in Chicago who acted like that around him, and Ben was subconsciously expecting Linda to do such things when Ray told him they were lovers.

Not Linda, though. Ben was also surprised to realize that not even Francesca was acting like that anymore, as a matter of fact. Linda's eyes never expressed the malice or the strange hunger Francesca used to bear in her eyes. In Linda, he found gentleness and concern. Maybe there were some other things in her eyes, too, but Ben was too afraid to look. The girl had serious and sincere feelings for him. He felt sad and guilty to have hurt such a gentle heart.

If things weren't bad enough already, there were all the things Ray had told him. At first Fraser had seriously doubted his friend's sanity. Even someone like Victoria would not be able of such vile, cruel acts. In time, though, and after talking to other people, Fraser confirmed that everything was true. Linda had been through hell and back, all because of that woman. A woman from _his_ past. And he felt even worse.

His stomach still flipped when he remembered the horror he felt when Ray told him all that they had been through. And guilt was eating Ben from the inside. He had been uncouth and discourteous to the girl. It was inexcusable. No wonder she had run away and was avoiding everyone who might be near him.

"You were rude, son."

"Dad!" Fraser jumped. He should have known his father would appear just like that. "Don't you ever knock?"

"I should knock on your head and put some sense inside it, that is what I should do, Benton." Benny realized he had only seen his father so annoyed few times before in his life, dead or alive, and it compounded to his personal pain. "Sorry, son. I know you are not to blame, but we are talking about the woman who is carrying my grandchild. Try to put yourself in my place."

"If you don't mind, putting myself in your place is something I would rather avoid, and I do not mean any offense." Ben sighed and closed his bag, with a sigh. "I feel bad enough as it is."

"Just find her, son. She might be in greater danger than you think."

"I will find her, Dad."

"I know you will, son".

The door opened and Fraser jumped. Ray smirked, looking at his bags. "Hey, Benny. Guess you are good to go."

"Yes, Ray. I am ready."

"Good. Look, Ma has everything ready to have you over. So, if you need anything from the apartment, we can get there first and then go home."

"If you don't mind, Ray, I think it is best we get to the precinct as soon as possible. We need to file a missing person's report at once and try to find Linda."

Ray smiled. "That's nice to hear, Benny. Let's go find the doctor and sign those discharge papers, then."

Dr. Wilson sent them off with a hundred or more recommendations. Ray was still smirking around when they reached the front door.

"Well, here we are, Benny". He stopped at the sidewalk in front of the hospital's main entrance and waited until the Mountie put his Stetson on. "Free at last and out the door. How do you feel?"

Ben looked around. "I just wish I had my memory back, Ray." His voice was soft, and there was some remorse on it.

Ray felt a pang in his heart. "I know, Benny. But everything is going to be all right, you'll see." He tapped his friend's shoulder. "Come on, let's get the Riv. Ma is already preparing the lasagna."

As Ray turned, his eyes caught a glimpse of an object in a passing car. The car was going slow, since it was in front of a hospital, and the rear window was half opened. Through the window he could see a barrel of a fire weapon – aimed straight at the Mountie.

Ray barely had time to shout, "Gun!"

Without a second thought, he jumped in front of the stunned Canadian and tackled him to the ground. Two shots were heard, the noise unbearably loud as Ray seemed to see everything happening in slow motion. When they finally reached the ground, there was a sound of tires screeching. And when Ray got up to look for a license plate, the car was gone.

"Are you okay, Benny?"

The Canadian was lying on the sidewalk on his left side, facing Ray, white as a sheet. His look seemed lost and vague. Ray felt his stomach churning and called, "Benny? Benny, can you hear me?"

"I hear you fine, Ray." His voice was firm, and Ray felt relieved. "We were shot, right?"

"Yes, Benny, someone just tried to shoot us." Ray helped Ben get up, still unsure about his friend, as curious people began to gather around. The Italian showed them his shield, shouted for someone to call the police, then turned again to the Mountie. "Are you sure you are OK? You don't look so kosher."

"I... am really not sure, Ray." Confused, Ben looked around, even paler than before. "Is Linda safe? Where is she?"

Now it was Ray's turn to become pale. "Benny?"

"Ray, I am not... well". The Mountie swaggered a bit, then looked around and ran shakily for the nearest dustbin, where he promptly lost his lunch. Ray lost no time in calling someone from the ER to look at Benny.

The detective knew right on spot on his friend had recovered his memory. He just knew it and sighed, relieved. Things were going back to normal. He prayed they would.

*** * ***

Linda was feeling quite tired when she came inside the community center early next morning. Another sleepless night had taken its toll on her. She was seriously depressed, but she could not let anyone notice that. Linda was worried that if someone noticed her state, she would be taken to a hospital. If that happened, her friends could find where she was.

As soon as she arrived, she knocked politely on Mr. Jose's door. There was no answer. Linda looked around in the big building, and heard noises from a sort of schoolroom. Obviously, it was a day care center or a school for very small children. They were called kindergartens, Linda remembered.

She knocked again, and from the classroom across the hall, came a blond woman in her thirties. "Hi. May I help you?"

Linda answered, "I came to see Mr. Jose about a job."

"He rarely comes in the morning. Is he expecting you?"

"Yes, he told me to stop by today."

"Then I am sure he should be in anytime now. It is a little bit early, I am afraid." The noise from the children rose and the lady turned to the class. "Children, please." She turned to Linda when the blabbering died down. "You can wait in here, if you want. I mean, if you don't mind the noise." She opened up the door for Linda.

"No, it is fine." Linda extended a hand. "My name is Linda."

A young boy, about four years old was staring up at Linda with huge brown eyes, his black hair shiny. "Nice to meet you, Miss Linda."

Linda was surprised at the boy and smiled down at him. "Oh, hello, little friend."

The woman laughed quietly. "Linda, meet Donovan. He is very smart and curious. My name is Cheryl. Cheryl Wicket." The two ladies shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Cheryl." Linda stood down and extended her hand to the little child. "Nice to meet you too, Donovan. But you need to pay attention to Miss Cheryl, now."

Linda felt a tiny pull on her shirt. She turned and saw a small girl with brown hair and ponytails smiling at her. "My name is Mindy. Are you our new teacher?"

Linda kneeled on the floor. "No, Mindy. Miss Cheryl is your teacher. If I get the job, then I will clean the school and keep everything neat and tidy for you and your friends to play."

A third child came over to Linda, and Cheryl stood back with a smile as many other kids interacted with the newcomer. Too bad the girl was not applying to a teaching position, she though. Linda was a natural with kids, and in minutes the newcomer was sitting on the floor and they were all playing together. Cheryl was glad she had Linda's help that morning. The day care center was filled with kids.

It turned out Mr. Jose did not show up until early afternoon. Linda had spent all that time with the children, and enjoyed every minute of it. The administrator apologized for the delay, saying he had worked until late at night and overslept.

"I heard you gave a hand with the kids. Can you do that in a regular basis?"

Linda stared at him. "I don't understand."

"Would you like to be at the day care center a few days in the week? That is apart from the cleaning position, of course. You would earn more money. Not much, but it would be an increase."

Linda admitted. "I need the money. I like children, too."

Mr. Jose smiled. "Cheryl said you came in early this morning. That is good. Arriving early means you are motivated and responsible." He took some papers from a drawer in his desk. "OK, I just need to fill out these forms, then. I will need your social security number and other papers."

Linda felt the blood draining from her face. "I... I don't have it."

"What, did you lose it, then?"

The girl began to shake. "No, I... I don't handle these documents..."

"I can't hire you without that". Mr. Jose was intrigued. "Linda, you don't seem a foreigner, but I have to know if you are an illegal."

"A what?"

"An illegal. An alien." Linda was still at a loss, and he explained, "An illegal immigrant. From another country."

She shook her head. "I am not from another country. I lived all my life in Chicago... I think."

"Well, then maybe we can research your social security number from your birth certificate. You _do_ have a birth certificate, right?"

"Yes, but..." She blushed. "What happens is... uh..."

Mr. Jose sighed. "Let me guess. It is not with you, either."

Linda began to shake, but managed to blurt out. "Right."

Mr. Jose sighed once more, put the papers on the desk and looked very seriously at Linda. "Is there anything you would like me to know now, before I hire you?"

Linda was blushing furiously and she felt like crying. "Yes, sir. I have to tell you... I have escaped my legal guardian. I don't want him to find where I am."

"A legal guardian? I thought you were of age. I mean, I did not know you are still a minor."

"According to my birth certificate, I am not a minor anymore. But I am a ward of the State of Illinois. I was told that I am under the State's legal authority. My... psychiatrist is my legal guardian. I am his ward."

"Are you saying you are a mental patient?"

Linda winced at the word, and tears came down her eyes as she nodded heavily, looking at her lap. "Not anymore, but I have lived all my life in mental institutions, yes. My psychiatrist said I have never been a danger to anyone, Mr. Jose. I have been outside the hospital for years now, I was even living with a person, and we were going to get married. That is over now, though." She wiped a tear and sighed dejectedly. "It was not my intention to lie to you. That is why I did not want anyone to know where I am. If they find me... I think they can punish me."

"Did you tell Peter any of this?"

She flinched even more. "No. He will be angry at me, too. He has been so nice to me, and I was not a good friend. But I am so scared, Mr. Jose. I hope you can forgive me. I am scared."

"Are you afraid you will be committed again?"

"No, I don't think so. But... Every time I say I have been in a mental hospital, people look at me differently. I would never be able to get a job or a life if I told people about it, and now I have a baby to think about. I need a job to raise my baby, but it looks like I am not going to get it. I will understand if you don't want to hire me anymore. Sorry to take your time. I better go now." She rose from her chair. "Thanks for everything, Mr. Jose. You have been so nice to me, and I really appreciate it." She turned to go.

He sighed heavily. "No, wait, Linda. Don't go." She stopped, and looked at him. The Latino man had a concerned look in his face. "I still want to help you. But in this situation.... You understand things are different now."

"Yes, sir."

"I will tell you what: please, come back later. At night. Say, seven o'clock. I'll try to think on something. I will have an answer for you about the job then."

Linda just nodded, then almost ran out of the community center, devastated. She had been so hopeful, so full of dreams. Now all hope was gone. What was she to do?

Without knowing where else to go, she went to the HOP and locked herself in her room. Mrs. Emerson realized she was sad, and tried to talk to her, but Linda told her not to worry. She said she was just upset because the promised job apparently was not going to come through. It was not a complete lie, but Linda was not in the mood to elaborate. When she was alone, she cried so hard that she ended up napping for some time. Then it was time to return to the center, as she had agreed with Mr. Jose.

Back at the community center that same night, Linda was certain that Mr. Jose would tell her the job offer was gone, and that she would have to find some work another way. She would have to get a newspaper and look at the ads. Ray said that was how people looked for jobs. It was called "job hunting".

Linda tried to suppress the pang of pain in her chest as she thought about Ray. Or Benny, for that matter. She really needed a friend like Ray right now. It wouldn't hurt as much, she thought.

She knocked on Mr. Jose's door as the last members of the medical staff passed by her. It was near closing time for the schoolrooms. While she'd been there in the morning, Linda had read in bulletin board that the Alnon (or the AAA) meetings would begin at eight. So the center would be empty at that time.

"Come in."

Linda went inside the room and was surprised to find that Mr. Jose had company. "Peter?"

He greeted her with a smile. "Hi, Linda. I was going to pick you up to dinner, but Jose called me. I thought it would be better if we talked."

Linda lost all colors on her face. "Peter... I guess Mr. Jose told you. I am so embarrassed. I am sorry."

"Yes, he told me. Linda, why didn't you tell me? You know you can trust me."

She was so ashamed. "I am sorry, Peter. I did not mean to deceive you or anything. You were so good to me." She felt tears rolling down her cheeks. "I am sorry. I did not mean any harm. I am just so scared about everything. This is such a mess."

"Hey, it is OK. I just wanted to talk to you about it. I mean, if you feel OK about talking. Usually people are embarrassed because they are or have been mental patients."

"I don't mind, Peter." Linda shrugged. "It took the doctors so long to find I did not have a mental illness that it really doesn't matter now."

"What? You did not have a mental illness? Then why did they commit you?"

"I was five years old, and my father had been abusing me." She looked at the floor. "I did not react for a long time, that was why they thought I had a mental condition. But it was a long time ago, and I am so much better. I still don't know many things about the world. I was learning fast, though. The doctor was going to release me soon." She sighed. "I am not sure this will happen anymore if he finds me, and that is why I don't want them to find me."

Peter and Jose exchanged glances. The director of the community center turned to Linda and asked, "Would you give us a minute?"

Linda nodded, but Peter interrupted her before she rose from her chair. "No, Linda, there is no need for you to leave the room."

Linda saw Jose looking at Peter, and he looked concerned, but Peter started to talk in that foreign language. She was startled, and Jose answered Peter in the same language. Then he turned to Linda. "It is OK, Linda. You can stay."

They exchanged more of those strange words, but some of them were not completely unfamiliar to Linda. She knew that "sí" and "no" meant "yes" and "no". Ray had told her that. But they were talking fast, and she could not understand even those simple words.

After a few minutes, Mr. Jose turned to her. "Linda, Pete and I are willing to give it a try. I will hire you on his word. The conditions are the same: the night shift of cleaning and helping in the day care center twice a week at first. If everything goes well, we can give you an extra schedule. Nothing changes about the lodging arrangements, either. You can sleep here as we have discussed earlier. Pete is willing to grant for you, so if anything goes wrong, he will answer for your mistakes."

Linda was appalled. She turned to Peter. "Would you do that for me?"

Peter smiled. "Of course Linda. I trust you implicitly."

She was overwhelmed. All she could do was mumble out her gratitude to Mr. Jose while trying to control her tears of happiness. They shook hands and discussed rules and schedules. "Any room that has a meeting is off-limits for you, I hope you realize that. After cleaning at nights, I would ask you not to roam the building, because we have a night watch. Of course you will be introduced to Elroy, the watchman, but still, he might mistake you for a burglar, and we could end up having a tragedy."

"No, sir. I will be very careful."

Jose smiled. "Then there will be no problem." He grabbed another stack of papers. "So, I will see you tomorrow morning? It is Thursday, and it is a day care morning."

"I don't have to clean tonight? I can do that if you want me to. I mean, since you hired me, I can start right now."

Even though Linda was not joking, Jose laughed loud, and Pete said, "No, you are not cleaning anything. Tonight I am taking you out to dinner. A little bird at the HOP told me that you failed to show up for lunch today, and did not eat before coming, so..."

"Well, I was going to... I mean..."

"Linda, you have a kid to think about. Nutrition is important. So, let's go. I won't take no for an answer."

Jose agreed. "Nice idea. Go, Linda, go and have fun. Now I have a meeting to attend." He checked his watch. "Oops. They should be here at any minute, and then I won't be able to give you any more attention. So, scoot, you two. Go, go!"

Linda felt genuinely touched. Before tears were back on her cheeks, Pete took her to dinner in a small Thai restaurant. She had been to another one before, with Ray and Benny. They wanted to show her new types of food. Linda had to make an effort to pay attention to Peter, because her mind kept on bringing her back to Benny and Ray.

Pete was amazed. "I would never have guessed you knew Thai food."

"I have been to a Thai restaurant before." Linda said, then added. "It was a different one, though. This one is also very nice."

"We should try different types of food. I can take you to all restaurants you want."

"You are very nice to me, Peter. I am so embarrassed. I want to buy you dinner sometime. If I had a place with a kitchen, I could cook for you."

"Can you cook?"

"The kitchen people at the hospital taught me", she said, then her face fell, as she remembered, and added sadly, "But after that I also got some valuable tips from a very nice Italian lady."

"Let me guess: wife of your cop friend?"

Linda blushed. "Actually it was his mother. How did you know?"

"I figured as much." Pete said. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't _I_ cook for you sometime?"

It was Linda's turn to be surprised. "Can you cook, too?"

He shrugged modestly. "Well, I told you I share an apartment with a roommate. My old roommate was from Spain, and he has taught me some dishes from his homeland. Some are spicy like this, but much, much more delicious."

"I don't think I have ever tried anything from Spain."

"Oh, it is a fascinating place. I lived there for a while."

"So, was the language you spoke with Mr. Jose their language?"

"Yes, it was Spanish. Or a sort of Spanish. They have several different languages in the same country."

"I heard about it. They have the same thing in Canada. Two official languages, maybe more. Sounds confusing to me. The language you spoke with Jose reminds me of Italian, though".

"Oh, both languages have similar roots. I enjoy Spanish. And there are many immigrants from South America that also speaks it."

"How nice that you can practice and keep up with your friends."

"I know." Peter smiled. "I hope you will become a very dear friend, too, Linda."

Linda blushed. "You have done so much to me, Peter. I don't know what I can do to repay you."

"You don't have to do anything. Just enjoy your meal. And don't worry about anything. Focus on your new job. Tomorrow is a big day."

Linda smiled and ate some more. Maybe that night, she would be able to sleep.

*** * ***

Peter Wick recognized the duo as soon as they entered his shop. He felt his head going light, and his face was probably going pale. Turning his head, he tried not to show his nervousness as both men approached Paco, and the attendant pointed him.

"Peter Wick? Remember me?"

Peter faced the tall, slender, balding man. "Yes, of course. You are Linda's friend... Sorry, I don't recall your name." They shook hands.

"Vecchio. Detective Ray Vecchio." He turned to the man at his side, a Mountie in dress reds, holding his hat under his arm. "This is Constable Benton Fraser. He was the one injured in the explosion."

Peter turned to Ben, shook his hand, and said, "Linda told me you were wounded and went into a coma, or something like that. Are you OK now?"

"I feel much better, thank you."

"I am glad to hear that." Quickly, he asked in a casual manner, "How is Linda doing? Last time I saw her; she was about to be released from the hospital."

Both men exchanged glances, and Vecchio said, "We were hoping you could tell us about it, Mr. Wick."

Pete's face was a mask of surprise. "I beg your pardon?"

Ben took a step neared Peter. "Linda disappeared three days ago. We have been looking for her since then."

"Oh, no." Peter looked horrified. "You don't think something bad happened to her, do you? Do you think she might have been kidnapped by the people who planted the bomb?"

"That was not the reason she disappeared – at least not originally, no. But she might be an easy target, even if she is not a prisoner at this moment. We were hoping you could help us find her."

"I am so sorry, Detective. I don't know anything. I have not seen her since the hospital. She seems such a nice girl, worried about her boyfriend." He smiled at Ben. "You two make a lovely couple."

Ben turned pale at hearing those words. "That is... very kind of you."

Ray frowned mentally. He knew Peter was lying, because he had been flirting with Linda. He was probably jealous of Ben, but did not want to show. Or could it be that he was telling the truth? Nah, his gut feelings said that man was lying.

"Well, Mr. Wick, if she comes here by any chance, or if she calls you," Ray handed him a business card as Fraser looked around in the shop, "I would appreciate it if you let me know."

"Of course I will, detective. God, I hope nothing bad happens to her." He asked, "Do you mind if I call you just to know how's the search going?"

"No, not at all."

"Good. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"We will call you if we have any more questions." Ray looked around. "Thank you for your time."

"Glad to help, Detective."

The cop joined the Mountie, who had been examining some papers with Paco, and then they left the shop. Paco, who had heard part of what his boss told the cop, exchanged glances with him. Peter went inside his office and began to make phone calls.

"He was lying, Benny."

"I noticed that, Ray. We must find out why."

Ray's phone rang before he could say another words. "Vecchio. _What_?! Yes, sir, we are on our way." He flipped the phone shut and grabbed Benny as he began to run towards the Riv. "A bomb just went off at a shopping mall near the John Hancock Building."


	8. Chapter 8

## Chapter 8

Linda's sleep had returned to normal patters after those three nights of agony, and it seemed her life was finally getting back on track. It sounded like a nice thing, but she was not feeling any better. That was when it hit her. Linda missed Ben and Ray terribly. When the routine settled down, she felt their absence sharply.

Linda began to feel sad, and it was becoming overwhelming. It would send great pain to her belly or an uncontrollable flux of tears. So she tried to concentrate on something else, and began to clean a lot in the center, and in the House of Passage, too. Mrs. Emerson was pleased that she could help in the kitchen and the patio, too.

It was while Linda was cleaning the recreational room downstairs the HOP that she heard the news on the television. Sweeping the floor, she did not pay much attention to the news anchor until she heard the word Canada.

_Canada?_

Her head snapped up and she looked at the TV screen, paying attention to the rest of the news as her heart stopped.

"The Canadian authorities in Chicago reported only material damages after the attack on the Consulate, but a full investigation is still to be conducted. This was the third bombing in the city in the last 10 days, a few hours after another attack near the John Hancock Building. No group has yet claimed responsibility for either attack. On a much brighter note, City Mayor Richard Dailey, Jr. said the announced transfer of aviation giant Boeing from Seattle to Chicago will now be..."

Linda's knees almost buckled as she saw the reporter footage by the familiar image of the Consulate entrance. She politely asked one of the ladies who were watching the news and the woman confirmed that a bomb had went off on the Canadian Consulate. The explosive had been sent by mail. Fortunately, someone in the Consulate had suspected the package and a bomb squad had been called to explode it safely.

It took a few minutes for Linda to digest all the information and realize it had happened the day before, and now everything should all right. At least that is what she hoped. Fraser was not hurt. If he was back to the job, that is. A strange pain began to form in her stomach.

_Ben might be hurt. He might have been hurt. Oh, my God._

"Mrs. Emerson, I must go now", she said, putting away the scrubs and brooms. "Do you mind if I finish this later?"

"Of course not, dear. Early start?"

"I have a few things to take care first. Please don't wait up."

"Have a nice day at your job. And thanks for helping with the cleaning."

Mind spinning, Linda barely answered in a polite way, then took off. A thousand thoughts swirled in her head. What if they gave a wrong impression on the news? What if someone got hurt? _Oh, Jesus, not Ben, not him, please..._

She had barely walked two blocks in the direction of the El when she crossed a public phone. The impulse was just irresistible.

"General Consulate of Canada, good afternoon. Consulat Général du Canada, bonjour." Linda recognized Jasmine's voice. She was the consular secretary and a dear friend.

"May I speak to Constable Fraser, please?"

"Whom should I announce?"

She wavered. "I... just need to speak with him, please. It is very important".

There was a pause. "Linda? Is that you?"

The girl stopped breathing. _Oh, no._ Jasmine had recognized her voice!

Linda panicked and hung up. She left the paid phone shaking so badly that the sudden gust of cold wind went unnoticed by her. Linda still did not know about Benny. She made a decision and headed determinedly for the El station. In no time, Linda reached her destination.

She had to move stealthily but casually, in an absolutely unobtrusive manner. Burying her head inside her coat as if trying to avoid the Chicago thin rain, Linda managed to walk more or less invisibly amidst the crowd in Stetson Street. But the crowd thinned out and Linda decided to look from afar at the Consulate, from across the street.

The first noticeable thing was a shocking yellow tape typical of crime scene around the building. It was hard to see anything at all from so far away. Linda walked for a few minutes in front of the Consulate, trying to catch a glimpse of anything. Her heart was pounding inside her chest. She risked approaching directly across the street, a straight line from the Consulate.

Then it happened.

The front door opened, and a familiar figure clad in red stepped outside the building. Benton Fraser solemnly took the familiar position of sentry duty. Linda's heart stopped. He was even more beautiful than she remembered, and seeing him right in front of her made her heart realize how much she missed him, his warmth, his smile, his scent, his gesture, his eyes.... She was riveted to the ground, her legs turned suddenly to lead.

Then he saw her face. Their eyes met.

Impossible not to: even though she was at the opposite side of the street, Linda was standing still, staring directly at the building. Benny, on the other hand, had his head straight, his eyes watching right ahead in vigilant manner, as his post required. Linda was directly in his line of vision. Recognition flared in his eyes. He blinked repeatedly. But he was on duty, she thought. It made her safe. Ben would never relinquish his duty, and leaving his post was unthinkable, so...

The unthinkable happened.

Benton Fraser _moved_. His eyes had her pinned and he started to move towards her, slowly, as if trying not to scare her away. Well, that is exactly what happened.

"Linda?" She saw, rather than heard, the question forming in lips.

Her heart stopped. Suddenly, it jump-started and raced like there was no tomorrow.

Panicked, Linda spun around and, taking advantage of a passing bus, managed to disappear before his very eyes, running as if her life depended on it. As she ran, she could hear him shouting.

"Linda! Wait! Please! Linda!"

Too late. She had already run like the wind. Unknown to Benny, Linda had managed to get in the first bus she saw, her head light. The driver asked her for exact change, and she had a difficult time finding the coins for the fare. Everybody was staring at her, her shaky hands, her bedraggled features.

Linda finally paid her ticket and slumped down on a seat, hugging herself tightly, her belly aching more than ever. Silently, she cried as if she did not want to have any liquids left in her whole body...

**_* * *_ **

"Are you sure?"

Fraser was holding the telephone cord hard, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Yes, Ray. It was Linda, I am sure. She showed up when I was about to go in sentry duty."

"What did you do?"

"There was not much I could do, Ray" Fraser berated himself for the nth time. "I chased a bus, but everything happened so fast, and I was not sure if it was the right bus. Without Diefenbaker, I could not catch her."

"You went after her?"

"Of course I did.”

"While on duty? I thought you were not supposed to do that." Ray was more than surprised. He was aghast.

"Well, Ray, there are instances that transcend even the discipline of the service." Fraser felt his skin turning red. "I am sorry, Ray. She seemed so... _sad_. I know it was her, Ray, I can feel it."

A different voice said, "Are you talking about Linda, Constable?"

Fraser swiftly turned around at the sound of Jasmine's voice. "Please hold, Ray". He turned his attention to the secretary. "Sorry, did you ask me anything, Jasmine?"

"Yes, Constable. I asked if you are talking about Linda. Because I think she might have called today."

"She called?"

"By the phone. It seemed to be from a public telephone. I recognized her voice. When I confronted her, though, she hung up." Jasmine shrugged. "I was not sure it was Linda in the first place, so I never brought it up."

"When was that?"

"An hour ago, I guess. Shortly before you went into sentry duty."

"What did she say?"

"She asked for you. Then I called her name, and she immediately hung up." Jasmine seemed remorseful. "I should have insisted, Constable. I know how anxious you are to find her, and I might have scared her away. Please forgive me."

"Actually, Jasmine, you have helped a lot. Thank you kindly". Fraser turned back to the phone and said. "Ray, Jasmine said Linda called. According to Jasmine, she asked to speak to me, then she panicked when her voice was recognized."

Ray sighed. "That may explain why she had to come to the Consulate. To check on you. I figured she had no news about you, after the explosion, and she was trying to find if you were hurt or anything. But this is only a polite guess. I think we better talk to her directly."

"Of course, Ray." Ben sighed.

"Now let me get something straight. You _abandoned_ your post, Benny?" There was definitely a hint of amusement in the Italian's voice.

"Ray, please. Inspector Thatcher had made sure I was reprimanded to the fullest extent of the book. And the FBI investigators, too, made sure I was scolded for scaring away such an important witness."

"FBI? They still around?"

"You know they are, Ray. They keep repeating to me that her disappearance since the wave of attacks begun is extremely suspicious." Benny seemed extremely annoyed.

"Maybe that is what we need to find her, Benny. Do you know if they still have wires on all phones in the Consulate?"

"I can check it out". Then his face lit up with hope. "Do you think we can trace her call?"

"Read my mind, Benny boy, as usual. I will be over in a flash."

*** * ***

For a rainy afternoon, things were sure slow at the Petewick Papers. The mall itself was not packed with customers, yet Paco was busy with a rather large and hesitant lady. While the voluminous lady could not make her mind over the purchase of a phone directory, he realized that Linda, the girl that his boss had befriended, was outside the store. She seemed to be fidgeting. Or worse.

When the large woman finally came to the conclusion that she did not need another phone directory after all and left the premises, Paco watched Linda shyly step in the stationery store. His instincts were right. She had been crying.

"Hello, Linda. Come on in."

Her head was down, and she seemed to be wincing. Paco did not find that good. Her voice was small as a mouse's. "Hi, Paco. May I please talk to Peter?"

"Oh, I am sorry, but he is not in right now." She obviously was not expecting that. "Would you like to wait for him a while? He should be coming back at any minute right now."

"I don't want to bother."

"No, it is no bother. You can wait at the office. You know where it is. Make yourself comfortable right there. I will get you a cup of coffee, would you like that?" Linda nodded. "Good. Go ahead, I will meet you there."

Linda let herself be led inside the tiny office she already knew. Paco put a cup with hot liquid on her hand. "Oh, _chiquita_ , you are shaking. Take this."

She never met his eyes. "Thank you."

"I wish I could stay with you, but there is no one else to mind the store."

Linda managed a weak grin between a few sips of the coffee, trying her best not to spill the hot liquid. "Don't worry about me. I appreciate what you've done."

"Don't worry. Peter is already coming."

"Thank you, Paco. You are very kind."

Paco felt truly sorry for the girl, who looked like a scared little kid, and went back to the front of the store. Fortunately, as he predicted, Peter did not take long.

When the shop owner heard what Paco said, he rushed to his office. He found Linda crouched in a corner, crying quietly.

"Oh, God, Linda, what happened?"

Linda was so ashamed to be found in such a sorry state. Immediately she sprung to her feet, trying to dry her tears and to smother the pain in her chest. "I am all right, Peter. I am sorry, I just... did not know where to go." Tears were spilling against her will. "I am sorry, I –" Her voice cracked.

Peter took her in his arms, and she could longer contain the weeping. She cried for what it seemed a long time, as if that could wash away the pain. He shushed her gently, caressing her back and her hair as she soaked his shirt.

"You can cry all you want, Linda", he said. "It will do you good."

"I am sorry", she whimpered, her voice muffed in his chest. "I didn't know where else to go."

"It is OK, Linda. You can come here anytime. I am sorry I wasn't here."

She finally raised her head, sniffling, and wiped her eyes. "I am sorry about your shirt."

"Don't worry, I said." Peter lifted her chin and made her green eyes meet his black ones. "Now why don’t you tell me what happened?"

Linda did not know where to begin. She blushed furiously and avoided his eyes. "I went to the Consulate."

"The Consulate?" For a second Peter seemed lost, then he remembered. "Your boyfriend's workplace?" Linda nodded, totally ashamed. "Did you talk to him?"

Linda shook her head. "I ran away from him. I could not... I mean, I wanted, but..."

Peter still caressed her hair. "Why did you go there, Linda?"

"I had to go there. I had to see if he was hurt."

"Hurt?"

"There was a bomb there, did you know?"

Peter closed his eyes. "Yes, I heard it on the news."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"To spare you from this. I would have told you if anyone got hurt." Peter looked at her. "You still love him, don't you?"

Linda nodded, the pain stabbing in her chest. "Yes. He is the father of my baby. He doesn't even remember that." Her face was wet again. "I am sorry. I wish I were stronger. I have to be stronger, for the baby. I am going to be raising him on my own, so I have to be stronger. But I don't know how..." She covered her face with her hands and wept.

Peter gathered her in his arms again. "No, Linda, you don't need to be alone."

"But Ben doesn't want me." Linda was devastated. "And it hurts so much."

Peter made Linda look at him once more. "Linda, listen to me carefully. Look at me. Please" She obeyed him, her jade eyes transparent. "You don't need to be alone. I can help you raise your child."

That made Linda feel so warm inside. "You are very kind, Peter. I owe you so much already. I could not possibly let you do that."

"Linda, everything I did was out of love." He used the back of his hand to caress her face, as she looked at him, stunned. "I think I am falling in love with you, Linda."

Green eyes widened and she pulled back, somewhat frightened. _Oh, no. Not Peter_.

All this time she really thought he was her friend. She believed him. Yet all Peter wanted was to abuse her, too. How could she have been so wrong? Linda felt so lost and confused.

_No wonder he had been so nice_. Now he probably thought he had some sort of right to take her.

Peter tried to reassure her. "Don't get me wrong, Linda. I do not want you to think I have second intentions."

She looked at him, pale, shaky. "So... you won't force me to anything?"

"Force you? Force you to what?"

She took another step back. "Force me to have sex with you."

His jaw dropped. "Linda, God, no, never!" He tried to get near her, she pulled back and he didn't insist. "I would never do that, Linda. Never. What made you think of such a thing?"

She held herself, feeling suddenly cold. "I... have been... I mean, before, I was..." She sighed, then said, "This has happened before in my life."

Peter felt his blood boiling and he asked sharply, "Did this boyfriend of yours do that to you?"

"No!", Linda was horrified and angry that Peter would think of something like that. "No, Ben would never do that. Never. He was helping me deal with it." Linda wrapped her arms around herself and looked at her feet. "Ben taught me it could be good. It did not have to be painful. I had never known that before."

"Oh, Linda, I am sorry." Peter felt heartbroken. "I never meant to hurt you. I know you love him very much, and I don't want to force you into anything you don't want. I really just want to _help_ you. Please let me help you." Linda looked at him, and saw that he was sincere. She felt so relieved that all she thought about him was true.

"I am sorry," she said, tears all over her face. "I did not mean to offend you."

"It is quite all right. I hope we are good about it. I mean, I know about your feelings for your boyfriend, and I understand it. I just want you to know I am here if you need me. You don't have to go through anything alone, specially raising a kid by your own."

"That is very kind of you, Peter." Linda smiled, and he smiled, too. "I am sorry for being so much trouble."

"You apologize too much; you know that?" Peter tapped her hand. "Now try to forget it all. I can see it makes you sad, and that cannot be good for the baby, right?"

Linda smiled and looked at her midriff. "Sometimes I even forget about it. I don't look pregnant."

"Not yet, but remind me of this talk three months from now. You are going to have a small bulge instead of this flat stomach of yours. Would you mind that? I mean, losing the figure may be a problem to some women."

"No, I don't mind that at all, Peter." She was smiling and Peter saw her eyes sparkling with love. "I am having Ben's baby. He may not be around, but a part of what we used to be is right here inside me, and growing."

Peter could not help, but smile back. "You know, I should be jealous, but I can't." He looked at his wristwatch. "Are you going to work tonight?"

"Of course." Linda looked around and found a clock in the wall. "Oh, I gotta run."

"Are you sure you are up to it?"

"I have to go, Peter." She tried to arrange her clothes. "You will look bad if I miss a day of work in my first week, won't you?"

"Jose will understand. I will talk to him."

"No, please. I am OK. Working will do me good."

"If you say so." Peter said. "Wait, and I will drive you to the center."

"Please don't bother. The traffic is very slow at this hour. It will be faster if I take the El. Thank you." Linda could not resist but hug him. "For everything."

"You are very welcome, Linda. And you are welcome any time. Be sure of that."


	9. Chapter 9

## Chapter 9

Linda could not deny having some amount of difficulty in concentrating on her job that night. Her encounter with Fraser had shaken her to her core, and then there had been Peter's confession. On the top of that, her new boss though that she was a mental patient, probably a psycho.

On the other side of the balance, that nice woman Cheryl had put nothing but good words regarding her job with the small children. Linda explained to Cheryl that she could not teach anyone, for she herself still went to school, but she could entertain the children. The kids loved her, and the feeling was mutual. Little Donovan even took an extra effort to behave when Linda was there.

The girl felt a lot of pressure. Everything needed to be perfect, because she needed that job, for her and the child’s sake. She would have to take care of her own child for the rest of her life, and she would have to do it by herself. Linda knew so little about religion, but Ma Vecchio had taught her to pray. Sometimes Linda did that. She prayed to have strength to be the best mother she could be to Ben's child.

"Linda?"

She was startled to see Mr. Jose in the ladies' room. She stopped scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees and straightened her back. "Yes, sir?"

"Are you almost done? I'd like to talk you for a second."

"I can go now, if it is urgent."

"No, it's nothing serious. Please come to my office after you are done."

"Yes, sir."

When he closed the door, Linda sighed in dismay. Probably Mr. Jose noticed she was distracted, and now she was in trouble. She hoped he was not going to fire her.

"I actually have good news, Linda," he said after sitting her in his office. "The mattress to your bed arrived this afternoon, and the bed is coming tomorrow. They were both donations from the Red Cross." Mr. Jose was smiling. "It means you will soon have a place to sleep."

Linda smiled shyly. "Yes. I am almost done cleaning the room, too. I cannot work there tonight, though."

"I told you it can wait until after the painting. There is no rush. Major restoration is almost done, and it took less time than I had imagined. In less than two weeks, you can move here, if you want."

"That would be nice. I will miss Mrs. Emerson, though. She is a nice lady."

"Yes, she is. Do you like it at the House of Passage?"

"It is very nice, yes. But I got used to living on my own, and I enjoyed having my place."

"I can understand that. Are you OK? I mean, in health. Are you having any reaction to the cleaning products?"

"None whatsoever. But then I have never had before, so it is no surprise."

"What did the doctor say?"

"Sir?"

"The doctor for the prenatal exams." Linda was at loss. "You did go to the center’s specialist to check the baby, didn't you?"

"No, sir, I am sorry."

"Well, in that case, I insist. It is important to go through prenatal exams, Linda. The doctor will be here by Thursday. I will set an appointment to you."

"But Mr. Jose, I help kindergarten on Thursdays."

He was very gentle. "Don't worry. I will warn Cheryl that you will not be able to go this Thursday. She will understand. Linda, I must insist on that. It is important for the baby, and I know how much that baby is important to you. So let's take good care of it, OK?"

She smiled at his kindness. "OK. Thank you, sir."

"Don't mention it. Now we are done, Linda. So, are you going home, now?"

"Yes, sir. I was hoping to finish this floor, but the AAA meeting is running a little late on room 206, so I will clean it tomorrow."

"Don't worry. You have been doing a terrific job, Linda. This place is shining like it never did before."

The girl blushed. "Thank you, Mr. Jose."

The Latino man smiled. "I am still waiting for you to call me just Jose, Linda."

"I am sorry, sir."

He shrugged and just shook his head. "Well, keep up the good work. And good night."

Linda respectfully went out of his office and put away the brooms and buckets before taking her coat and heading out. She was surprised to see Peter's car in the street. He went out of the vehicle and waved at her. "Hi, Linda. I was waiting for you."

"For me?"

"I noticed you left without dinner, and wondered if you'd like to have a late snack with me. My treat, of course."

"Sorry, Peter. I have to get back to the house of passage by ten o'clock, or I will be locked out." She shrugged apologetically. "Rules."

"I know the rules. I am asking you to skip your curfew. It is important for you to eat properly. For the baby."

"But then I won't have a place to sleep, Peter."

"You can sleep at my place." Linda looked at him, alarmed. "My roommate had to travel suddenly. You can sleep in his room. Or in mine. I will take the couch." Before Linda could protest, he pointed at the clock. "Besides, you can't say no now: see, you have just missed curfew."

Peter was right. It was five past ten already.

"Peter!" Linda was trying hard not to get mad. "You did it on purpose. How could you do that?"

"Hey, hey, calm down. I did not mean any harm. Besides, Linda, I don't want you to be alone tonight."

"Why is that?"

"You went through a lot today. You might need a friend." Linda stared at him, her green eyes stating confusion. "Please let me take care of you, Linda. You don't have to be alone in such a hard time. I want you to know that."

Linda stared at him, and wondered how she could say what she had to. "But Peter, I can't... I am sorry, Peter, I just..."

He touched her arm. "Look, I know you still love him." Linda could hear the pain in his voice and her heart ached for this man. "Maybe you will never stop loving him, but I want you to know I am here. I am willing to be by your side as long as you allow me, including taking care of you and his baby as if it were mine."

Linda felt a small tear rolling down her face. Peter smiled sadly and used his finger to gently swipe it. "Oh, I did not want to make you cry. You are a gentle girl, Linda, so sweet. Now let's just have some dinner, and not talk about any of this, OK?"

She nodded and he stared at her in a humorous way, making a funny face. "Hey, where is my smile? I want one, please, please pretty please with a cherry on top. I promise I will be a good boy if you smile to me." Linda couldn't contain her laugh at his goofiness, and he cheered exaggeratedly. "Woo-hoo! Yes! Good, now let's eat. I am starving, woman!"

So Linda gave up complaining, because Peter was really a charming and persuasive man. They went to a small diner and had turkey salad with spaghetti. Linda found the combination exotic.

They went to Peter's, a small apartment at the Northside not far from downtown Chicago. Linda was very intimidated at first, and shyly entered the place, noticing it was simple.

"It is a boy's place", Peter shrugged apologetically. "Gus, my roommate, is not an organized guy at all. I have to keep reminding him to clean his stuff. So, I apologize in advance if you find any mess lying around."

"You have a nice place, Peter." Linda avoided looking at him, and found out she was shaking. She was so afraid he would try anything.

Somehow, Peter noticed her reaction and read her thoughts. "Linda, you don't have to worry about me. Look, I will take the couch. You are safe here."

She smiled and blushed. "OK, Peter. And thank you for that."

He smiled and went inside the bedroom, his voice muffed. "I will get some clean sheets and a heavy blanket. I get so cold during the night, don't you?"

Linda raised her voice to answer. "Yes, sometimes I do, as well."

"You should remember it when you move to the room in the community center." Peter returned to the living room, bringing the sheets. "You will need something to heat that room."

"Yes, I haven't thought about it. Thanks for the tip."

With Linda's help, Peter transformed the couch into a makeshift sleeping place. "Well, here we are. Would you like to drink some tea before going to bed?"

"No, thank you. I have to work up early tomorrow. Kindergarten will be waiting for me."

"Oh, I see. All right, then I guess we'd better turn in. Would you like anything to sleep in? Sweat pants, T-shirts, anything?"

"No, thank you. I am wearing a T-shirt under the pullover. Thank you." Linda blushed. "Thank you, Peter. Good night."

"Sleep well, Linda."

She went to his bedroom and closed the door, then sighed. He was true to his word, and she felt safe. She even felt some remorse. Peter was a gentleman, and she should be ashamed to think that he would take advantage of her.

But she could not help to think that she never knew anyone as gentle as Ben. Ever. Even though Peter was surely a very nice man, only Ben was a true gentleman.


	10. Chapter 10

## Chapter 10

It did not take a rocket scientist to imagine that Linda's sleep soon be plagued by nightmares that night. She woke up panting, short of breath, sweating, in a strange bed.

It took Linda a few good seconds to reassess her bearings. Then she remembered where she was and why.

Oh, dear, was she confused, ever. She looked at Peter's alarm clock, and it read almost three in the morning. Linda was surprised she had slept at all, especially for such a long tme. Pregnant women slept a lot, she heard Cheryl say.

Still Linda was in a lot of pain. She remembered the nightmare that woke her up and a pang ran through her belly.

The dream was set at night. There was a child, a beautiful boy with Fraser's features, around the age of four, crying angrily at her. He was in her arms, hitting her with tiny little hands and surprising strength: "I don't have a father and it is all your fault! I hate you, I hate you!" Linda was crying, guilt cutting through her as her own son struggled to get away from her.

In the dark, quiet room, tears ran silently through her cheeks. Linda knew that scene was quite possible in the future, and she would have no answer that could satisfy a fatherless four-year old child. Nothing would compensate the whole life the child would have to live without a father.

Linda cried as silently as she could, but a sob raked her body every now and then. She curled herself, her mind's eye fixed on Ben's expression as he recognized her that afternoon in front of the Consulate. It had been such a fleeting moment. She did not have the opportunity to see his eyes clearly, but she wished it had been love shining from the clear blue-grey spheres that hypnotized her so much.

How could she live without ever seeing those eyes again, or their owner? The thought pierced her heart like a spear. And the child... it would not be fair to the child.

Maybe it was best not to have the baby after all.

Linda entertained the thought grimly. If she had and abortion and Ray ever found out, he would never forgive her. Probably, neither would Ben.

Then Linda realized how much she missed Ray as well. She knew Ray would be there for her. He could help her. Ma Vecchio would also help her with the baby, telling her things about being a good mother.

But she could not have the Vecchios around, because Ben would be there, too. What if she skipped town and tried to raise her baby away from everybody? She needed documents, though. Perhaps Mr. Jose and Peter might help her do that.

And if they did that, Linda could start over in place away from Chicago. Then she would be truly alone. Completely alone with a child in her hands. Was it worth it?

_Oh, my baby, I am so sorry. Child, I don't expect you to forgive me, but please never forget I am trying to be the best mother I can._

Linda suppressed a whimper, but the tears kept coming. She tried to contain the sobs, but some slipped against her will.

A noise startled her. "Linda?"

In an impulse, she jumped from the bed and tried to hide her body in a little ball by the corner of the room. It was Peter, she knew, but she was so ashamed.

Strong arms wrapped her lovingly, and Linda cried even harder, feeling comforted amidst so much pain. She let herself be led to the couch on the living room, and there she still clutched to Peter, weeping in his arms for long minutes.

When Linda finally calmed down a bit, he produced a box of Kleenex and she blew her nose. "I am sorry, Peter."

"No need to explain." He had kept the lights turned off, so she could not see the smile. "Are you better?"

Linda was honest in her answer. "Not really. I think I won't have the baby, Peter."

Instead of having a harsh reaction, Peter just kept caressing her. He waited a few seconds before asking, his voice soft and flat. "Is that what you want?"

"No. But I may not be able to take care of the child by myself."

"I told you before that you don't have to be alone, Linda. I meant it. I know it is your decision to have or not have the baby. But I will help you if you let me."

"I wish I could talk to Ray. I miss him."

Peter got quiet for a few minutes. "Is that what you want?"

"I am not sure", Linda admitted. "I just wish, that's all. Besides, I don't even know if he would talk to me. He may be mad because I ran off."

"Are you afraid your friend might be mad at you?"

"Yes. I think Ray may be very angry." Linda dried a few stubborn tears. "I am not even sure he is trying to find me."

Peter sighed. "Well, he is."

Linda tried to look at him. "Ray is angry with me? How do you know?"

"No, I meant that he is looking for you." Surprised, Linda backed from his embrace and looked at him. Peter admitted, embarrassed. "Your friend came to see me, and said you were missing. I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want to upset you. You said you didn't want to talk to him, so I lied to him." He stopped while Linda gathered her thoughts. "If you want, I can call him."

"No." Linda thought better, than winced. "Actually, I don't know if I want to talk to him. Was he nervous?"

"Yeah, a bit, I guess."

"Was Benny with him?"

Peter sighed. "You do love him, don't you?" Linda could hear the pain in his voice. "You'd go back to him if he asked you."

Linda averted her eyes. "I won't lie to you. I love him, and if he asked me to go back to him, I would."

"It figures." Peter sighed again, then shrugged. "I had hopes, but... Well, I am not giving you up, Linda. Not unless you push me away. But I don't want to pressure you, either. Look, I can talk to your friend Ray if you want."

Linda felt tears coming up again. "I am sorry, Peter. You have been so good to me, and I'm not strong. I'm so confused."

Peter took her in his arms again, and she wept once more, damping the T-shirt he wore with tears. She stayed like that for a long time, and he whispered nothings in her ear, rubbing her back, comforting the girl. It took him over an hour, until Linda cried herself to sleep in his arms.

Peter sighed with relief and allowed himself to sleep, too.

*** * ***

"Man, you sure got lucky last night, huh?"

The shout woke Linda up in the cruelest way. She was still cuddling Peter, both on the couch, and raised her head, heart pounding inside her chest.

There was a man inside the living room, sneering at them in the most unpleasant way. The thin man had huge ears, wide scary eyes, horrendous teeth and a decidedly unfriendly aura.

Peter seemed angry at the way he barged in. "Gus! We have guests!"

"So I see. Pretty one, too." He eyed Linda as if she were a cut of prime beef. Instinctively, the girl cringed. The man asked in a lecherous manner, "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Reluctantly, Peter said, "Linda, this is Al Guzman, my roommate. Gus, Linda spent the night in my room."

"That is not what I see, pal." The man was practically undressing Linda with his eyes.

Although not dressed improperly, Linda tried to cover herself, blushing. She noticed it was already morning, and the sun was out. "Oh, no. I gotta go now." She hesitated to move, staring at Guzman, whose hungry eyes had been fixed on Linda. She forced herself to be polite, even though she didn't like Peter's roommate. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Guzman."

The skinny man was headed for his room and winked maliciously at her. "Yeah, babe, see ya around."

Linda sighed when he disappeared and scrambled to get her things together. "Sorry, I really have to be early at the center."

"I will drive you there."

"There is no need, Peter. Thank you." Linda got ready quickly and ran away as fast as she could without being impolite. But she was getting way too much confused.

**_* * *_ **

After such a bad night, Linda was sleepy all day long. She took care of the kids in the morning, then went back to the HOP and helped Mrs. Emerson with some chores, as usual.

The caretaker was worried about her, and Linda told the lady that she missed curfew last night because she was working late. She did not want Mrs. Emerson to think she was Peter's girlfriend, for that was not true.

At nightfall, Linda was back at the center for her usual job of cleaning. She had checked the schedule, and she knew there were no meetings that night, so she could clean the classrooms anytime.

Actually, Linda went to the small back room that one day would be her abode. She usually did that at nights, and ended up cleaning something. It was rough job, because there were heavy remains from the ongoing renovation. That night, though, Linda had a surprise. She walked in the little room and found the bed and mattress Mr. Jose told her about the day before, plus a big rug. Linda beamed. Her dream of having a place of her own seemed to be becoming true.

Linda looked around, knowing full well that she would be spending a lot of time alone in that place. The bed could be moved, and Linda imagined where could she put a crib.

Suddenly, Linda had a terrible thought: she might not be able to live there after the baby was born. Mr. Jose might not want her and the baby there. Maybe he imagined that she would put the baby for adoption. If so, what was the point of cleaning that room and making it livable?

In that case, what was the point of her job?

Ultimately, what was the point of anything if Benny was not there?

The thought slipped unchecked through her brain and before Linda could help it, she was on her knees, crying silently again. As she shed buckets of tears, she wondered if she would ever stop crying in her life.

The released tension and the restless night took their toll on Linda. She felt so tired and depressed that she could not help but lie down on the mattress to rest for a while. Her intention was to take a hold of her feelings, control herself and do her job for the night.

She had no intention whatsoever to fall asleep in that room. But her worn-out body needed a rest and jumped at the first chance available. So she fell into a deep sleep.

A noise woke Linda, and she startled, fully awake. Instantly, all sleepiness fled her body as she realized she had fallen asleep. She looked at her wristwatch. It was past eleven.

Oh, dear. What a shame.

She had missed curfew _again_ , and very probably now she was locked inside the community center. Linda knew that she was in deep trouble, but she had no idea of how much trouble she really was.

Linda got out of the small room and heard her footsteps echoing in the huge empty building. The sound gave her an eerie sensation, so she tried to be as quiet as she could. Elroy, the watchman, was probably outside, she thought. Well, at least he knew her and would not mistake her for an intruder. Still she walked as quietly as she could around the empty building.

That was the reason she heard the faint voices coming from the west wing of the center.

Linda got intrigued, because she knew there were no meetings scheduled to be held that night in the building, be it AAA or any other association. So she followed the noises very carefully. They might be burglars or something, and Ray had warned her that such people could be dangerous. But she had to confirm that so she could tell Elroy and he could call the police.

Linda approached the room with ultimate care, as quietly as she could. The voices were near enough to be distinguished. She could hear words.

"The time is right!"

"No, it isn't. We need more planning."

"It is now or never, man! We must strike while the iron is hot! We are doing so good.”

"Out of sheer luck! The Feds are on the case, you know that."

"We need the American people's attention, so we got to make big noises. Those three firecrackers you call bombs didn't raise enough attention!"

_Bombs?_

Linda got closer, and saw a light coming from under the door of the second room. She tiptoed there, and found the door closed. The men inside, however, were talking quite loud, so she could hear everything they said as clearly as if the door was open.

"The Canadians are still investigating the explosion. They think it might be from separatists from Quebec."

There was general laughter in the room. Linda thought there might be at least four people in there. Some spoke with accents.

"Humpf! They are French-speaking amateurs! We have a real cause, a real fight! We have to defend motherland at any cost. Taking American lives is the next logical step. We will only get serious attention from the media by spilling American blood in their own stupid American soil!"

"Then why hit the Canadian Consulate?"

"The Mountie could identify Olezabal. Dudley-Do-Right spotted the suitcase with the bomb that Olezabal left at the mall and went after him. Fortunately, Oly escaped the damned Mountie".

"What about the girl? She is getting too close to us."

"The girl claims she has not seen anything. Besides, if she is this close to us, that means she is not close to the police. And this way we can control her."

"I still don't like it. What do you say, boss? Can we trust her?"

A different voice sounded. "I can vouch on that. She cannot identify anyone, and she is ignorant about everything.” Linda recognized Mr. Jose's voice and accent. “She speaks the truth, and she has no idea about the organization, yours or ours. Besides, she is a little wacko and she is on the run, too. Even if she knew anything, no one would pay her any attention."

"We should take her anyway and keep her as collateral. Give the Mountie something to sweat about. He is nuts trying to find her."

"We don't take hostages, man. You know that. That is the reason we should strike now. Let's get back to the point. The next hit is very important. I say now is our best opportunity."

"Olezabal, we are talking about the Chicago Stock Exchange. Security there is tighter than Fort Knox. How do you expect to plant a bomb in there without anyone seeing?"

"We go inside as stockbrokers, and detonate it at the exact time that the market closes. It must be done this week."

"Then Thursday is our best option."

"So Thursday it is."

A pause.

"Remember, gentlemen. Motherland is counting on us. We are doing it for our beloved Euskadi. A free Euskadi. All Euskadi. For Euskadi."

"Euskadi."

"Euskadi."

"Euskadi."

The shouts degenerated to a general chant, or loud cheer, repeating that word. Linda repeated it tentatively, "Euskadi." She would have to find out what it means.

Linda took the opportunity to get away from the door. She moved as fast as she could to the front wing, then stopped to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.

They were probably the group responsible for the bombing in the mall and in the Canadian Consulate. The FBI was after them, and they were planning to explode the Chicago Stock Exchange on Thursday.

Linda was mortified to find Mr. Jose involved in that. He had been so nice to her; it was hard to imagine him as one of the bad guys. She wondered if he might have been forced to do that.

She had to warn the police. They were talking about killing people, and she had to prevent that. Then another thought terrified Linda. If they found her, her life might be in danger.

She looked around, trying to think fast. An idea occurred to her. She had to get a hold to Ray. It was not midnight yet, so she might have a chance to reach him at the station.

It was worth a try.


	11. Chapter 11

## Chapter 11

Linda tried to move quietly in the empty community center. Nobody should know she was here, particularly the men who were thinking about exploding the Chicago Stock Market and kill people. She had to warn Ray somehow.

As quietly as she could, she went inside Mr. Jose's office to use his phone. She picked up the device and hid under the desk. Then she carefully dialed the familiar number to the 2-7 precinct.

"Chicago Police. Twenty-seventh precinct."

Linda whispered, "Detective Ray Vecchio, please. It is an emergency."

"Just a moment."

Linda waited nervously, feeling the seconds ticking and her nerves shaking. Then she heard the familiar voice. "Vecchio."

A wave of relief flooded her. "Ray, thank God." Her voice was shaky and she was still whispering.

"Who is this?"

"Ray, it's me, Linda."

There was a genuine shriek at the other end of the line. " _Linda!_ Oh, God, Linda, where are you? Where have you been? Want to give me a heart attack?"

She struggled to be heard over his excitement. "Ray, listen to me, please. Ray, please, hear me out."

"Linda, what is it?"

"Ray, there is going to be another bomb attack. You have to stop it."

"I can't hear you well, Linda. Speak louder, please?"

She hissed, "I can't talk louder. Listen to me." She pronounced the words clearly and very slowly, so he could hear the words better. "The men who put all those bombs are planning to strike the Chicago Stock Exchange on Thursday. Did you hear that?"

"The Chicago Stock Exchange?"

"Yes. It will be on Thursday. They want to kill people, Ray. You have to stop them."

"How do you know that, Linda?"

"I heard them planning it. That is why I cannot speak louder. They might hear me."

"Do you know who they are, or what do they want?"

"They said they were doing that for Motherland. Then they said a word I never heard before."

"A word?"

"Euskadi, I guess. Yes, it is Euskadi. They repeated it several times. I don't know what it means."

Ray found a notebook. "What's the word again?"

She spoke it slower. "Euskadi. They said they are doing this for a free Euskadi. I don't know what they want, Ray, but I know at least one of the men."

"Can you identify him?"

"Yes. He said another name, but I don't remember. They said they were trying to kill Benny because he can identify this other man. They're still in here. You can come right now and arrest them all."

Linda heard Ray's breathe catch. "You are with them?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes!" Linda was impatient with Ray.

"Look, Linda, you are in great danger. You have to get out of there _now_. Tell me someplace near so I can pick you up."

"Now?"

"Get out of there. Get out _now_ and plea– "

Before Ray finished the sentence, the line went dead. "Ray? Can you hear me?"

No answer from the other side of the line.

But an ominous voice came from above Linda's head.

"Oops. Looks like it is no time for phone calls." Linda looked up to the underbelly of the desk and started shaking really hard.

_Oh-oh._

Suddenly, the desk that hid her disappeared and she was dragged to her feet with extreme violence. Linda felt her body being held with force, restrained powerfully although she was not resisting.

"Especially calls to the police."

The light was turned on and she was face to face to no one else than Al Guzman, Peter's horrible roommate. She must have paled terribly, because the ugly man grinned evilly. "I see you remember me. Nice! Now that we are amongst friends, we are going to have such a good time, pretty babe."

Linda was so scared that she was actually panting with fear, and she darted her eyes around. There were at least two more men restraining her, both with their eyes zeroed on her, mean expressions on their unfamiliar faces. The world began to whirl slowly and she felt like fainting.

"How much did you hear? What did you tell the cops?"

Her voice would not come out. She was so scared that her voice failed. Guzman grinned. "Well, honey, if you don't talk, we can play it the other way, then."

In a swift motion, he struck her so hard in the face that she staggered back, a sea of searing pain on her jaw as she let out a yelp of pain, surprise and horror. A second blow made her black out, plunging into darkness.

**_* * *_ **

"Linda? Linda, can you hear me?" Ray was shouting in frustration. "Linda!" He crashed the phone down and shouted a string of expletives.

Lieutenant Welsh heard the noise at the quiet station, and came out of his office, fuming. "Vecchio, control your temper!"

"Sir, I need local Phone Company ASAP to track a call I have just received. It was from Linda, and she might be in danger."

The lieutenant frowned. "Linda? You mean _our_ Linda?"

Ray nodded, "I think she ran into our mad bombers."

Welsh ran to the nearest telephone. "Then don't just stand there! Go at it! And get Big Red here on the double. He is probably at the Feds. Damn Canuck has not given them a minute of peace since he found out they were on this case."

Ray smiled. That was right. Benny is making sure the Feds got a good steaming sweat.

By the time the Mountie and his wolf arrived at the precinct, Ray had already the location of the phone from which Linda called him. The cop did not even let the Mountie open his mouth or get his hat off his head. He motioned him and the wolf to go outside.

But something bothered him on the piece of paper he got on his hand.

"This cannot be right."

"Why is it so, Ray?"

"It says here that the phone is on a community center by the West Side. It is a neighborhood association of some sort that gets help from various NGOs. The place must be closed at this time of the night." Ray grabbed the coat and they headed to the exit, wolf in tow. "I told you we'd find her, Benny."

Ben could not hide his anxiety as they walked towards the precinct exit. "Is it true you talked to her?"

"Yes, buddy, I talked to her myself. She was okay by then." Ray moved towards the parking Riv.

"What did she say?"

Ray opened the car. "It wasn't much. Somehow she had run into the bombers. Said they were the ones who tried to kill you at the Consulate, and now they are planning to hit the Stock Exchange next Thursday. She can identify at least one of them, but she doesn't know who they are."

They got inside the Riv and Ray left the station's parking lot into the Chicago night, as Benny asked. "Could she tell you what they are trying to achieve?"

"They are surely terrorists of some kind. She said they repeated they were doing this to free something or someone called Eusadi. No, that's not the name. Wait. " He grabbed his notebook. "No, it was Euskadi. Yes, Euskadi was how it sounded to me. I had to write that down, because I don't know what it means"

Ben felt a knot in his stomach. "Oh, dear. I think I know."

"You do?"

"Euskadi. It is the Basque word for Basque Country."

"So they are foreigners."

"Not only foreigners, Ray. They are separatists. Have you heard of the terrorist group called ETA?"

"Sure. Everybody has. They blow up politicians and police officers in Spain to form a new country."

"Precisely. ETA stands for Euskadi Ta Askatasuna, which means Basque Country and Freedom."

Ray widened his eyes. "Euskadi... is the same Euskadi?"

"Certainly. They want their own country because they have their own language and costumes. In Canada, we have a similar situation in Quebec."

"Wait a minute. Are you saying these people are blowing up things here, in Chicago, because they want their own country somewhere in the middle of Spain? That doesn't make sense."

"Maybe they are just trying to get some media attention. Remember the Bolt Brothers and their Fathers of the Confederation militia group."

"But don't they get enough media coverage in their own country? Why are they doing this in Chicago?"

"I can only speculate at this point, Ray. But they might want to get international attention. The best way to ensure this is to hit an American target."

Ray snarled, "I said it once and I say it again: I hate tourists." He looked at Ben, "You know what it means, don't you?"

"Are you referring to the fact that now the Department of State and the CIA will be involved in this case besides the FBI?"

"No. I meant to say that it means that Linda is in a whole new lot of trouble, and I am not sure she knows how much trouble that is." Ray took his cell phone and called the precinct. "Lieu, I got some news. And it is not good."

*** * ***

He was an ageing black man, and very easy going, Ray figured. Not the kind who would be involved with international terrorists with an on-going separatist fight in Europe for about 30 years.

Elroy, the watchman at the community center, shook his head. "No, the building was empty tonight, and not a sound was heard, except for some movers."

"Movers?"

"Yes, volunteers. They were from the Red Cross, I think. Anyway, the administrator was with them, so I figured everything was legit. Being volunteers, they come at the strangest hours you might think."

"So everything was normal?"

"Pretty much." The man shrugged. "I guess the new cleaning lady had finished her job even before the movers got here. I didn't see her out."

Ray showed him a picture of Linda. "And do you know this girl?"

The watchman nodded. "Sure, she is the new cleaning lady. The one I was just talking about. She has the night shift."

Ben asked him, "So she has been here?"

"Yeah, every night. Lovely girl, too." The watchman looked at both cops with alarm. "Don't tell me she is a criminal! Is she in trouble?"

"She might be in danger, yes, but no, sir, she is no criminal. Is there a phone inside?"

"Sure. At the administration."

"Do you mind if we take a look?"

"Let me open the door for you." He did that, shaking his head. "I'd hate to see anything bad happening to that girl, you know? She always looks so sad, but she is very polite. Such a nice girl."

"Yes, she is," Ben agreed with a sad smile and a pain in his heart. "Thank you kindly."

They went inside the building, their footsteps echoing in the huge hallways. In the office, Ben showed Ray the plaque that held the administrator's name. Ben repeated it, "Jose Itxuaga. Is that the administrator? Is he from other country?"

The watchman nodded, "Yes, that is him. I thought he was from South America, but he said he is European. From Spain."

Both men exchanged looks. Ben confirmed, "Itxuaga sounds like a Basque name."

Ray used the handkerchief to check the phone, as Dief furiously sniffed around. The cop said, "Yes, the number matches with the call we got in the precinct."

Ben turned to the night watchman. "Did you see the movers? Do you know what they moved?"

The man answered. "I saw them putting a lot of boxes in a car. There was a big old rug, too. And those guys were really bad at the job. Two of them carried the rug, and let me tell you, they were so clumsy they looked like they were hiding a body." The watchman laughed, and Ray turned pale.

Ben asked the next question, "How many were they?"

"Four or five. They finished their job half an hour before you arrived. You almost bumped into them".

"Do you have any idea where they took the material? Is there a place where they keep things from the center?"

"No, I am afraid you will have to ask the administrator."

Dief barked twice and Ben nodded. "Dief says she has been here, Ray." The guard watched the wolf with a whole new approach.

The detective turned to the man and asked, "What times does the administrator comes in?"

"In the morning, I guess. You can talk to him then."

Ray shook his head. "Sorry, that's not good enough. Do you have a home number, a cell number or something like that?"

The man thought for a while. "I have only an emergency number, if that is what you are asking."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Ray. "Thanks".

"I gotta go and get it."

Fraser smiled. "We appreciate it. Thank you, Elroy. You have helped a lot."

Dief began tracking the minute they walked out the building. It was their best hope to find Linda, and Ray knew that. Every minute it took was a minute closer to Linda's death.


	12. Chapter 12

## Chapter 12

Noises. Confusing and mixed noises assaulted Linda's brain as she struggled to regain full consciousness. A wave of nausea raked her body as her nostrils filled with a damp scent.

She opened her eyes and looked around. It was dark and dusty, and she was so dizzy it was hard to see anything at all. When she tried to move, she found out her wrists were tied in the back. She was tied to a chair, and her arms and back hurt like hell. Her face also hurt.

Linda finally started to distinguish the noises, as they turned into different voices. Only then she could remember most of past events. Before the cold reality sunk in, she heard, "Well, well, well, look who finally got up. Hello, sleeping beauty."

She raised her head and saw Al Guzman's horrendous face grinning at her. In an impulse, Linda cringed. He laughed.

"Looks like you are not sociable yet. That will change, honey, let me assure you."

"Enough." The authoritarian voice came from a source least expected: Mr. Jose, a man from whom Linda had received nothing but gentleness. Yet now he was sided those people, who planted bombs in malls and hurt Benny.

Mr. Jose raised from his chair and stood against Guzman. "Leave her alone."

The ugly man went ballistic and ran to meet the Hispanic eye to eye, snarling. "Don't tell me what to do! If it was up to me, she would be toast by now."

"She might be useful."

"You know; I am surprised at you guys. When we first met about this association, I thought it was clear that you don't take prisoners."

"That was back in motherland. You were hired to work for us, so don't try to dictate anything here. I am still in charge, despite your self-proclaimed Army of America's Liberation."

Guzman poked a finger in Jose's chest. "I am trying to keep us alive, _señor_ _!_ Remember that! I always thought we should have started this operation in New York, not Chicago!"

"Enough, I said!" Jose seemed irritated, and Linda winced. "Bickering will get us nowhere. We need to think this new situation. But first we need to know how much the cops know."

Linda felt both of them staring at her and began to shake. Jose approached her, in a voice deceivingly amiable, "Linda, I am so disappointed in you. I wished to protect you since the beginning, but now it is no longer possible. I am sorry."

His tone did not reassure Linda. "What are you going to do to me?" She shivered.

"It depends on what you have done before. What did you tell the police?"

"Nothing, "she whimpered. "I don't know anything."

"Linda, Linda," he shook his head. "Now I am trying to be reasonable here. Please return the favor."

She breathed in deep, then realized it was useless. Maybe they could spare her if she gave them what they wanted. So she said, "I know nothing else beyond the bomb on the Stock Exchange. I told them to prevent it. People might get hurt."

"You don't understand, do you? These people must die for a greater good. We are doing this to save our land." Jose took a deep breath, as if to calm himself down. "I don't want to see you hurt, Linda, but I won't hesitate to do that if I must."

The girl broke out and pleaded, "Why are you doing this? Can't you just let me go? I promise not to tell, Mr. Jose. You know I keep my promises."

Guzman laughed out loud at her innocent question. "Ha! Is she for real?"

Jose spun and came down hard on the other man. "Shut up! I am getting tired of you and your amateur people. I did some research, and guess what I found out? You are known to the cops!"

"I struck a deal with the Feds!"

"And how come they are chasing you now? Huh? Besides, I have come across the information that her cop friend knows you personally! It was a Ray Vecchio who arrested you two years ago. If Linda identifies you, he can certainly link things!"

"She doesn't even know me!"

"How hard it is to know Adolf Guzman, big leader of the American Militia?!"

"Army!"

"Like there in a difference! We are in a fix here, mister, and it will take a lot of work to get us clean again. The cops are after us."

"They don't know where to find us. The call was not long enough to be traced."

"There is no guarantee." Jose sighed. "I better show up at work and find out exactly in what kind of trouble we are."

Guzman was still irked. "You know whose fault this is, don't you? It's that wimp's you call friend!"

Jose's eyes shone in fury and disdain. "You stay away from him. And from her, too. I will handle it my way. You are quick to point blame because you fear that some of it may fall upon you."

"No! It is _his_ fault! His entire fault! I told him the girl was trouble, and she had to be wasted! He insisted we should befriend her, make her trust us. Looks like I turned to be right! Did anyone listen to me? Did anyone apologize? Nooooo–“

Jose chastised him, "Watch your mouth." Guzman shut up, grumpy, and went to the other side of the room, away from Linda. The girl sighed without a noise.

Then Jose walked around Linda and said. "I expect you to work with me, Linda. I helped you so much before, and now you could help me out in return, uh? I will give you some time to think about it." He gestured to a tiny door Linda had not noticed before. "There are armed men outside this door. They don't speak your language, so it is useless to plea with them. And don't try any funny business. Their orders are to shoot first."

Linda watched as Jose dragged Guzman by the arm, the other man complaining. She sighed in relief, alone at last, thankful for the fact that she had survived. The only problem is that she had no idea how long they would keep her alive.

She had to get away from those thoughts.

_No. No fear. I have to be strong. I will be strong. For my child. Mine and Ben's. Child, be strong now. I will do whatever it takes to protect you._

Keeping that in mind, she waited.

It turned out that Linda was left alone for a lot of time in that dark place. Hours passed by, she could tell it from the pain in her body.

Her bounded wrists were sore, and it was very possible that they were bleeding. She could not move much, so she was getting all sorts of pain. Her face was also hot from the slaps he had received earlier, and the headache became a dull throb in her head. Her muscles were aching and she needed a bathroom presto.

Linda tried not to think much about what they could do to her. But she felt so alone, and so helpless. She knew she had slim chances of rescue, because Guzman had cut off her call to Ray before she could give him any information on her location. No one knew where she was.

Despite all Linda's proud thoughts and her willingness to save her child, it was clear that they would have already killed her if Jose hadn't stopped that horrible man. They still might do it anyway. Guzman was the dangerous man around. It would be wise not to piss him off if she had any hope of survival.

Her mind turned to Ray. After that phone call, her friend probably was out of his mind by now, trying to find her. Maybe Benny, too.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Linda winced, blinded by the unexpected flood of light. From the silhouette in front of her, came a familiar voice gasping in surprise, "Linda!"

Her heart raced, and she could not believe her ears, "Peter?"

"Oh, God, oh, Linda!" Peter rushed to her side and swiftly started to untie the ropes on her wrists and ankles. "What have they done to you?"

Linda could not help but fall apart. "Oh, Peter, thank God you are here. I am so scared."

"Wait, let me get you out of these." Peter finally freed her from all her ties, then wrapped her tightly in his arms. They ended up on the floor. "Oh, Linda, I am so sorry."

Linda clutched on him, her heart racing, her body trembling, sobbing, "I am so scared, so scared."

Peter caressed her tenderly, trying to soothe her. "Shh. You are safe now. I won't let them harm you."

She looked up at him, suddenly startled. "How did you find me?"

"Jose told me what happened. He wants to help."

"Jose?!" Linda flinched from his embrace. "Peter, he threatened me!"

Peter seemed mortified, not letting go of her. "Linda, you have to understand. Jose is my boss on this. He is worried about you. He has tried to protect you this whole time, but you called the police, and now he is afraid he might not be able to guarantee your safety. Why did you call the police anyway? You told me you did not want to talk to them!"

"What are you talking about? Peter, you –" Linda halted, her eyes growing with realization. "Oh, no. You are with _them_. You are not here to rescue me, you are here to talk to me and to make sure I don't interfere with their plans!" She was so disgusted that she tried to break free from him, arms moving. "Let go of me! Stay away from me!"

"Linda, please, listen to me. _Listen!_ " Peter grabbed her and she ceased to resist. "This is not the time for that. You're in real danger. Do you realize it? You have to do as I say, if you want to live."

Linda felt so angry, and terrified, and disappointed, and sad. "You are with them, aren't you?" Tears rolled down her cheeks. "You _lied_ to me!"

"I wanted to make sure you were safe, Linda. They wanted to kill you right away, just like they tried to kill the Mountie. I could not let it happen." Linda stared him and he seemed to be so sad. "Please try to understand. I cannot say no to them. They are my adopted people."

"What do you mean?"

"They are Basques. I have lived there, too, and I understood all their demands. They are good people, Linda, driven to desperation by cold governments that don't care about them and don’t let them live as they choose. Try to understand, that is all I ask."

Linda frowned. "But Peter, they are killing people. _Innocent_ people. They tried to kill Benny!"

"That is the only language our enemies will understand: violence. We don't want to do this."

"We?" she repeated. "Are you really one of them?"

"Well, not technically. I just give Guzman shelter and a base of operations. He is not Basque, but he is a local ally, and he helps us to raise money and set good targets for the cause. We give him weapons in return. He has his own fight, and we are merely temporary allies. There are other allies in other parts of America. We will only be heard if the Americans step in our cause. When we get the attention of the American people, then our cry will be heard all over the world, and we will become free, a free land."

Linda was still staring at him. "But what you are doing is wrong. Killing people is against the law. Ben has always told me that if you stop following the law then you also stop being reasonable and –"

Peter got angry. "It is too late for that now, Linda. I am trying to save your skin, so you'd better do as I say, if you want to live. These people are not joking." She tried hard to contain her fear, and he said, in a softer voice. "I am sorry. I am truly sorry. I had hopes I could spare you this."

Linda nodded heavily, then looked at the dirty floor. She asked quietly, "Peter, can you be honest with me now?"

He held her unresponsive body. "Sure, Linda. I did not want to lie to you, believe me."

"When you helped me, what was your intention?"

He inhaled sharply. "I - I - Linda, you have to believe me. I never had any intention besides truly helping you."

"So you weren't just trying to keep an eye on me to make sure I wouldn't call the police?"

"Of course not. Jose wanted to do that, but I never let him. That is why he wanted you to move to the center, you see. He wanted to keep control over you."

Linda finally looked at him. "So are you really trying to help me?"

"Yes." He used his finger to wipe a tear rolling down her cheek. "I will do anything to protect you. I mean it, and you can trust me."

Linda thought that she really wanted to believe him. How she needed someone to trust!

Peter took her hands in his. "All I said before is also true, Linda. I do care about you."

Linda saw in his eyes that he was not lying, and her heart sank heavily, because all she could think about was Ben. Her thoughts were shattered by the noisy arrival of Jose and Guzman.

Noisy was to say the least. Peter got up and confronted them both. A loud angry argument was held among the three of them, half in English, half in Basque. The guards came in from the outside, and Linda, now free from her bonds, scrambled to crouch by a corner of the room, away from the warring parties. But she kept an eye on the door. If they got involved in the fight, maybe she could sneak out when they weren't looking.

"Quiet!" shouted Jose, apparently with success. "Quarreling will get us nowhere!"

Guzman insisted, "I say we kill the little bitch now. I remember now this Vecchio guy who is friends with her. He set me up once, putting a fucking corpse instead of a real live hostage in the police station. Yeah, I remember him and the Mountie. If she is friends with those two, I say, kill her _now!_ "

"NO!" shouted Peter almost jumping at his throat.

Linda cringed and hugged her knees, closing her eyes and swallowing a sob as the argument threatened to escalate again. Things were not looking good. How could she escape unhurt, for the sake of her baby?

She felt her arm being pulled and looked up. It was Guzman, and he pulled her hard, "On your feet, bitch!"

Linda cried out in pain and terror, but the man was yanked away from her by an angry Peter who yelled, "Take your hands off her!"

Guzman charged against Peter, snarling, "You touch me again, and I will blow your brains!"

Jose pulled Guzman, and scolded, "Quit it! Come with me. Let's settle some things straight right now!"

Guzman let the older man lead him out of the tiny room. Peter sighed and held Linda, who was petrified with fear. "It is OK, Linda. Calm down. I am here."

Linda tried to contain her sobs as he protected her with his body. "So scared." She babbled. "I am so scared."

"I am here. I won't let anything happen to you." Peter's voice was so gentle that Linda actually felt relieved for a second.

A short second, unfortunately.

Linda had not quite caught her breath when a shot was heard very near them, followed by another. Peter held her even tighter, and they watched as Guzman returned to the room, a gun in his right hand. Instinctively, Linda gasped and cringed. Peter shielded her body with his own and turned to Guzman defiantly.

"What have you done?"

The short man was smiling in the ugliest way Linda had ever seen any living creature smile. But he seemed very satisfied to announce, "Jose cannot help you anymore. I have seen to that."

Peter stiffed his body. "This is outrageous. Jose was a very valuable commander to this operation. I will report this directly to Madrid."

Guzman shook his hand, chuckling as he walked in his direction slowly. "You will do no such thing." His voice was low, menacing. "You are to blame for this whole screw up. You will take the fall. But first I will have the personal pleasure of killing the little bitch."

Linda cringed even more behind Peter, who put himself between she and the armed man. "Only over my dead body."

Guzman grinned, his gun raising. "Your wish will be my pleasure."

There were a serious of loud noises – more shots, Linda realized – and she saw Peter's body convulsing at least three times. Linda held her breath, her brain frozen until Peter slowly turned around to face her. His face was pale, his eyes filled with sorrow, his shirt tainted in red. "I... am... so sorry..."

She tried to catch him as his legs failed, and she finally became aware of horrible wounds in his upper body, gushing blood. She shrieked as Peter fell upon her, and both of them landed heavily on the floor.

"NO!" She yelled, trying to hoist him, her own clothes soaking in the rich red liquid. "Peter! Peter, please!"

"Too late, bitch." Guzman's tone made Linda look up at him and realize her days on this Earth were getting shorter by the second. "You will pay for what you made me do."

It was Guzman who rolled Peter's lifeless body to the floor and pulled her up, as she tried to beg, "No, please..."

"Shut up, bitch! Let's have some fun now." He grinned evilly, making Linda shiver. "Say, bitch. Why don't we take a walk in the woods? Doesn't that sound fun? I know I am going to have some fun! Come on! Move it!"

Linda resisted as she was dragged out of that place, but she faltered and her legs stumbled, not really knowing how much longer she could resist.


End file.
